Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"Mein Kampf"* with H1N1**

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The nurse is ready to see you now!


Note to political junkies: There's really nothing to see here!

I have formulated a simple rule of thumb by which guys go to the hospital or see a doctor:

Rule #1: Uncontrollable bleeding. If you can't get the bleeding to stop, it's like that oil spot on your driveway. One or two drops, occasionally, you can put up with, but if it pours out and starts to puddle, you know that there aren't that many quarts in the crankcase!

Rule #2: Bones protruding from your skin.
These can be unsightly and often accompanied by Rule #1.

Rule #3: Prolonged or sudden unconsciousness. Technically, this is a rule your buddies have to observe for you, because, well...you're unconscious!


That's it! Pretty much all the reasons right there. So, awakening this morning feeling like death warmed over, preceded by flu-like symptoms the night before, led me to believe I might have the flu. And since I dutifully got my flu shot at the beginning of the season, while it is not 100% effective, this leads me to believe this could be H1N1, or "Swine flu". (See **)

And though ravaged by the flu (that's going to be the excuse*** for any errors in today's blog posts or comments), I still managed to drag my self to a keyboard (okay! thanks to WiFi, it was a laptop in bed this AM, 'til the battery went dead!) and attempt to post the best stuff I could think of and find. (See ***)

This may be my most footnoted missive in the short history of Proof Positive (coming up on two years, now! ****)

I need to stop now, before I footnote again! Later! *****


*Ger.: "My struggle". Note to the semi-literate: It is also not short for "kampfpaign". I am a bit curious as to what "Mein Kampf" in the title will produce in the way of Google searches...Sorry!
**H1N1? I was a doctor in a play once. This entitles me to dispense free medical advice and give physicals to fair members of the opposite sex. The only way I could know for sure if this was H1N1 would be to actually see a doctor! (See rules 1-3)
***The flu. Remember???
****Okay! Now I'm just getting punchy, but it will be two years this March 28th ( in case you want to get me something!)
*****Much later. Just couldn't resist the siren's song of one last footnote! Heh.

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