Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Rest of the President's Speech

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The President's speech from the Oval Office, the parts I could stay awake through, were either dishonest or designed to send the country down the road to ruin (or both).
From the lie that "we're running out of places to drill on land" (cough, ANWR), to his pie in the sky notions that a nation that consumes "more than 20% of the world's oil" can be converted to some mythical green energy that will take its place without relying on oil in the meantime, defies credulity.

I did stumble across an early draft of the speech with a section he eventually excised:

"That is not to say that we will not face difficulties in the transition. Since day one, holdovers from the Bush administration in the EPA have forbidden us from burning unicorn poop to power the great turbines that fuel this mighty country. Also, representatives from PETA, that existed during the last ten years, have frustrated our attempts to harness those same unicorns for mass transit.

But, we still have one form of "green energy" that is available to us. My lovely wife, Michelle has instituted her "No Child's Fat Behind" program here in the states. She proposes to put fat children on treadmills, hooked up to generators. She assures me that fat children are a renewable resource, though we may need to end restrictions on junk food in school vending machines to do so. I am told by my friends in the NEA that this would be much simpler than say, waiving the Jones Law.

Fortunately, fat children have no radical leftist group to oppose them (once they get past Planned Parenthood) so I may proceed without fear of offending any of my ardent supporters. Further incentive will be that every treadmill will be equipped with a TV monitor that only plays "An Inconvenient Truth". If the child does not run fast enough, we will threaten to turn it on!

This is only a stop gap measure until such time as visitors from the stars bring us the technology to cure cancer, run our cars on rainbows and to slow the rise of the oceans and begin to heal the planet. (No, wait. That's my job!)

Until such time as the benevolent aliens arrive, I shall search diligently for someone's @ss to kick until after the 2012 election campaign. Thank you, and may Gaia bless all 57 of the United States of America!"


Cross posted at Left Coast Rebel, Lady Cincinnatus, Say Anything

LCR UPDATED: I agree with Proof above on the content of Obama's BP speech yesterday. Like Proof as well, I was only able to stomach parts of it. Even though he is still alive, I heard the ghost of Jimmy Carter channeled. I heard a man pleading for more bankruptcy. Surprisingly the left thought the same (at least a few in a rare hones moment on MSNBC):
Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann and Howard Fineman react to President Obama's Oval Office Address on the oil spill. Here are the highlights of what the trio said:
Olbermann: "It was a great speech if you were on another planet for the last 57 days."

Matthews compared Obama to Carter.

Olbermann: "Nothing specific at all was said."

Matthews: "No direction."

Howard Fineman: "He wasn't specific enough."

Olbermann: "I don't think he aimed low, I don't think he aimed at all. It's startling."

Howard Fineman: Obama should be acting like a "commander-in-chief."

Matthews: Ludicrous that he keeps saying [Secretary of Energy] Chu has a Nobel prize. "I'll barf if he does it one more time."

Matthews: "A lot of meritocracy, a lot of blue ribbon talk."

Matthews: "I don't sense executive command."
RCP has the video here, discussion at Memeorandum.

4 comments:

  1. Rip VanBullwinkleJune 16, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    I caught the first few minutes of his blathering. Initially laughed hysterically seeing him seated behind that desk. It looked to me like someone had sawed about 6 inches off the legs of the chair he was sitting in.

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  2. It was a real snoozer! I tried awfully hard, as a public service, to watch it live for later analysis, but finally, I decided I'd look up a transcript later.

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  3. Rip VanBullwinkleJune 16, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    "Matthews: Ludicrous that he keeps saying [Secretary of Energy] Chu has a Nobel prize. "I'll barf if he does it one more time.""

    Heh, so does the Obumbler. Nobel prizes don't mean what they used to. However it is interesting that every time Obama mentions Chu he has to mention that Chu is a Nobel prize recipient. It's as if he's trying to validate Chu. If Chu is / was the right choice why does Obama need to keep validating him? Unless Obama isn't sure he made the right choice in Chu.

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  4. Yeah. Obama's Nobel made sure that the world knew it was a big joke. It would have been better had he merely pointed to the man's accomplishments rather than his awards.

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