Monday, September 6, 2010

Obama Van Winkle - A Fairy Tale


Obama Van Winkle
By Washington Insider

The story of Obama Van Winkle is set in the years before and after the Second American Revolution. Obama Van Winkle, a villager of Kenyan descent, lives in a nice village at the foot of Chicago’s Sears Tower. An amiable man whose country suffers from his lazy neglect, he is loved by 30 to 40% of the villagers and maybe his wife.
One autumn day he escapes his nagging wife by wandering out on the golf course. There he encounters strangely dressed men, rumored to be the ghosts of Socialists Past, who are playing golf. After drinking some of their liquor, he settles down under a shady tree, (planted by a shady real estate developer) and falls asleep. He wakes and returns to his village, where it seems like twenty years have passed. He finds out that his wife has gone to Spain and that his close friends have all distanced themselves from him or gone away. He immediately gets into trouble when he proclaims himself a liberal Democrat, not knowing that the Second American Revolution has taken place.

An old Union local organizer recognizes him, however, and Obama's now grown daughter takes him in. Obama resumes his habitual idleness, votes “present” at family meetings and his tale is solemnly believed by his old pastor, Jeremiah, and a certain hen-pecked husband named Bill, wishing they shared Obama’s good luck.


And whether or not they all lived happily ever after may depend on whether and how you vote this November.

The End


(Parody strongly influenced by Wikipedia)

7 comments:

  1. Obama VanWinkle...That's offensive dude, I used to like you, now I have to think about it!!!

    OTOH if we disagree about a subject & I'm allowed to slide by calling you "Dole offshift plantation security boy" then we're okay!

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  2. ^ err..."Dole plantation offshift security boy".

    I was flabbergasted by your insult!!! ;)

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  3. Dude! I've driven by the Dole plantation on Oahu. I can think of worse gigs to work! (Other than the proximity to You Know Who!)

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  4. This is an extremely lame piece. You have a nonexistent sense of humor and your attempt to use the same tired criticisms of our President failed. But it's perfect for your soulless Tea Bagging peers.

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  5. Lint for brains: What you suck in your spare time is of little or no concern of ours. You do seem inordinately proud of it, though.

    (I suspect that RPB is a sockpuppet for another Internet troll I thrash regularly, who is too afraid to post here with his real name.)

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  6. ^ you mean Willy Bonilla? Ask him how his mom is doing for me.

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  7. Vlad: Doesn't sound like Wee Willie. Too many words spelled correctly and the apostrophe is in the right place.

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