There's a rumor going around that desperate Democrats will somehow try to tie Mitt Romney to the villain, Bane, in the newest Batman movie opening this week. As lame as that sounds, it got me to thinking what to look for if we were casting one of our presidential candidates in the title role of "Batman":
If Dr. Thomas Wayne had a son, he'd look like...Mitt.
If the cowl fits? With that lantern jaw, advantage Romney! (see above)
Ditto the utility belt and tights. Does anyone really want to see the skinny kid from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in a Batsuit?
Which candidate can you imagine having the cash to create all those marvelous toys Batman has at his disposal? (Or his wife letting him spend it?)
The Batmobile: Does it get better mileage than a Prius? Can't see Obama driving an armored gas hog.
Which candidate can you imagine having a life long relationship with the family butler, Alfred?
Tony Rezko sold Obama a house with an adjacent lot he didn't pay for, but sadly, no BatCave. Romney caught a lot of flack for installing an elevator for his automobiles in one of his stately mansions. Can you say, "To the BatCave, Robin?"
Finally, does Batman seem to be the type to pal around with domestic terrorists and those who would bomb government buildings or does that seem more like his nemesis, the Joker? Doesn't Batman sound more like the type who would hang around with Donnie and Marie?
Looks like our man Romney would be our Caped Crusader, hands down. But, as far as jokesters go, we still have the guy who assured us the private sector was doing well, that paralegals would assist you if you faint, and that he was going to visit all 57 states in his campaign as well as a close association with members of the Weather Underground.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a Joker!