1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system. (Who determines what's "relevant"?)
2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system. (Like getting doctors to ask and report the presence of guns in your household?)
3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system.
(Read: "Punishment" for those who do not comply.)
4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks. (AG: "Check! Crazy people and felons shouldn't have guns!")
5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun. (Let me get this straight. Police take from you a weapon you lawfully own and perhaps have already gone through a background check to obtain in the first place and now Obama wants you to have to undergo a second background check just to get it back?)
6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers. (Umm...maybe like the background checks for everybody else??)
7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign. (Like the NRA's Eddie Eagle? Oh, wait. Liberals have been trying to keep NRA gun safety programs out of public schools for years!)
8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission). (Which would have prevented the Aurora theater shooting how exactly??)
9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations. (Start with "Fast and Furious".)
10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. (What's a few more dead trees in the service of making people feel better about doing nothing?)
11. Nominate an ATF director. (Note to President: Do job. Appoint people to vacant offices. Rinse and repeat.)
12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations. (Since we won't let you protect yourself with a proper weapon, the training will be brief: "KYA goodbye".)
13. Maximize enforcement efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime. (Really?? This didn't go without saying?? Were the first four years of your administration minimizing efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime?)
14. Issue a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence. (Sorry. The Second Amendment isn't a disease. Issue Presidential Memo questioning mental health of anyone who thinks it is.)
15. Direct the Attorney General to issue a report on the availability and most effective use of new gun safety technologies and challenge the private sector to develop innovative technologies (The so-called "Smart gun" technology. Two parts pipe dream, one part wishful thinking.)
16. Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes. (The Second Amendment has nothing to do with "Affordable Care". Gun ownership is not a "disease". Additional invasions of privacy under the pretense of "healthcare" is not the business of the federal government.)
17. Release a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits them from reporting threats of violence to law enforcement authorities. (If your doctor hasn't already a clue what to do if you start threatening violence to yourself or others, you need a new doctor. Maybe one who can fog a mirror.)
18. Provide incentives for schools to hire school resource officers. ("Resource officers"?? How about giving block grant education money back to state and local schools and let them determine what 'resources' they need?)
19. Develop model emergency response plans for schools, houses of worship and institutions of higher education. (Brilliant! What this country needs is a top down, one-size-fits-all approach to the thousands upon thousands of variables in every school, church and college in all the fifty seven* states!)
20. Release a letter to state health officials clarifying the scope of mental health services that Medicaid plans must cover. (Which doesn't deal at all with the question of institutionalizing someone who is a threat to society against his or her will.)
21. Finalize regulations clarifying essential health benefits and parity requirements within ACA exchanges. ("Frammin' at the jim-jam, frippin' in the krotz.")**
22. Commit to finalizing mental health parity regulations. (See 21.)
23. Launch a national dialogue led by Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan on mental health. (Like the national dialogue led by Eric Holder about "a nation of cowards" on race? Good luck with that!)
Look and see how many of the ways that President Obama is NOT "dancing on the graves of school children"*** involve merely sending out memos or letters or proclamations of one thing or another. Do you see any concrete proposals in any of the nearly two dozen "remedies" that Obama is proposing that would have actually prevented the shooting at Newtown, or Aurora, or anywhere else on God's Green Earth****?
Here's a suggestion for #24, Mr. Obama. (Make it an even two dozen!) Eliminate the federal Department of Education. Send their entire budget back to the states and let them use it to protect the children in the local schools that they know best. With all the new memos and letters coming from the White House, it might be years before anyone in the schools even notices they're gone.
*Because he probably hasn't figured it out yet.
**Obscure Wizard of Id reference
*** Popular insult of liberal trolls to anyone who insists that any proposed gun control laws or bans might actually have a prayer of succeeding. Also popular: "celebrating their deaths".
****Unlike the latest Democrat convention, God has not yet been purged from the pages of Proof Positive, and is credited with Creation, subject to future presidential executive orders.