Friday, February 19, 2021

Alice in Guntherland

Today, I received my first big belly laugh of 2021, compliments of the California Department of Justice. They send me an email, which read in part:
The California Department of Justice has received your electronic application and will begin processing your submission.
(Emphasis mine.) Why is this so funny, you ask? I'll tell you the sad and bittersweet story...

California, in its infinite wisdom, decided to require background checks on ammunition purchase. IMHO, it is a waste of taxpayer money and police resources to run a background check on Uncle Hiram every time he buys a box of shells to hunt quail or rabbits. So, I determined that I would keep myself out of that system. I bought a few extra boxes of cartridges before the law took effect, and since I haven't gone shooting that much in recent years, I had no pressing need to restock.

Well, around the end of last September, I figured I needed a little more ammo. I applied online to the DOJ for the requisite background check, paid $19 for the privilege, and waited.

And waited. Turns out, I had filled out the wrong form, but no one bothered to mention that to me, so in December, after getting tired of waiting, I called the DOJ help line, which in itself is an experience. There is a very complicated phone tree to get through to an actual live human being, and if your experience is anything like mine, pack a lunch. I was on hold for hours. 

Finally I got through to someone who could help me. The person was very polite and knowledgeable and pointed me in the direction I needed to go. Fine. I filled out the new form, paid another $19, and waited.

And waited. Several times I even brought up the DOJ in my prayers, asking if it were possible for the Almighty to give them a slight nudge in my favor, but to no avail.

Finally, around the last week in January (this has been going on since September, remember), I decided that the way to get a background check performed was to purchase a new firearm. I didn't really need one, but I figured if I could find one that was either not too expensive or that I could conceivably have some use for, it would force the DOJ off the dime. 

I found a .22 revolver with a 16" barrel and a spare .22 Mag cylinder for around two hundred bucks, which is pretty cheap for a firearm these days! I ordered it online, they said they would ship it to my local store the first week of February. 

I went by the store to start the paperwork, which is voluminous, and while I was there at the counter, I saw a Springfield Arms AR in .308. "What's the story with that gun?" I asked.

The helpful lady behind the counter handed it to me, and told me the price. Trust me, it was NOT $200!

"Write this one up for me, too." I figured if I had to come back in ten days anyway, it was just as easy to pick up two guns as one! And then...I could maybe buy some ammunition, which was why I was doing this in the first place!

Came back in ten days, filled out more forms. They took my thumbprint about six more times. I should have asked him what they had done to cleanse that inkpad for COVID since the last guy was printed, but I didn't.

I picked up my two new guns and two boxes of cartridges. This store, whose ammo shelves were very nearly bare, limited purchases to two boxes a day! So much for "stocking up"!

So, Wednesday, I drove down to the aluminum/plastic recycling place, and I figured I'd stop by the gun shop along the way where I had purchased my Uberti Cattleman. (Dec. 2013) They had a LOT more ammo on the shelf, and when I asked them if they had any daily limitations, the friendly counter guy said "Ten boxes". 
"Ten boxes total?" I asked. 
"No, ten of any caliber."
Here. Take ALL my money! So I stocked up a little. Bought several hundred rounds consisting of several calibers. The brick of .22 LR was 300 rounds by itself! Bought a new pistol case to carry my ammo home and drove away a happy camper. 

Which brings us back to the DOJ, the left hand not knowing what the right is doing. I just bought two guns, several hundred rounds of ammunition from two different vendors and the DOJ will begin to process my background check.

Ain't government wonderful? 

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