Dear Letter to the Ed-itor: Hi, y'all! This here's Elly May Light, sittin' down by the concrete swimmin' hole, thinkin' about what a fine job that nice young man Barack Obama has been doin' in the White House. And the longer I'm sittin' and thinkin', I'm thinkin' I oughta say something on his be-half. (Because the way he's a goin', there'll only be half a country left purty durn quick!)
Now some of you Ed-itors (how'd y'all all come to be named "Ed" any ways?) may not think I read your fine paper every day. Well, I've been a subscriber ever since I moved to (insert name of city here)! So, as a local girl, I want my voice to be heard.
And just so you know, I've got a lot of sisters an' cousins an' aunts and all and we all have the same names. My pappy was so poor he couldn't pay attention, so he used a name he could remember real easy like! So, if'n they all gets the urge to write you, too, while they're sittin' next to their own concrete swimmin' holes, that is what they call a co-inky-dink in the big city! Because we all loves us some Obama!
Yes, we do.
We truly, dooley do.
(I'm not getting paid by the word or nothin', I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, the first black President of these here United States of America!)
So, thank you for your time. Please print my letter, so that I, like my hundreds of sisters an' cousins an' aunts and all, can tell you how we, each and every one of us, as separate and dis-tinked individuals, feel about Barack Obama.
Elly May Light
Beverly Hills, CA
(Please do not reply to this email.)