Thursday, July 24, 2008

Congress Monkeys Around With Meaningless Legislation

...in other words...business as usual! If you ever had any doubts that the politicians you sent to Washington are not the best that money can buy, read this:

With an ongoing war in Iraq, $4 a gallon gasoline, Midwest floods, a credit crunch and creeping inflation, rest assured, our congressmen have their eyes on the ball. By a vote of 302-96 last week, the House of Representatives passed the Captive Primate Safety Act, a bold step on the road to outlawing pet monkeys. The House bill boasts 26 co-sponsors, including three from Illinois, Republican Mark Kirk and Democrats Jan Schakowsky and Luis Gutierrez. The Senate is expected to take up the companion bill in the next few weeks.


Could I get a show of hands? All those who own or are planning to own a pet monkey please raise your hand! Okay...1...2...3. What's that? Okay! I'll put you down as a "maybe".
Now, everyone affected by the price of gasoline, please raise your hand! Wow! A LOT more of you! (Who woulda thunk it?)

Apparently, not Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid, who are driving this darling of PETA and the Humane Society, balls to the walls, while less important issues, like how the price of gasoline is harming the national and personal economies linger!

In lieu of addressing more pressing issues, Congress has once again decided to meddle in an arcane aspect of Americans' lives. The proposed legislation would amend the Lacey Act, which states that it's "unlawful for any person to import, export, transport, sell, receive, acquire or purchase in interstate or foreign commerce any live animal of any prohibited wildlife species."

Monkeys are soon to be among the prohibited. Exotic pets usually are covered under common law using a standard of strict liability—e.g., if you own a tarantula and it bites someone, you're liable. So why the change now?

Animal rights aside, one thing is clear: This is not the business of the federal government. In criminalizing pet ownership, the nanny state is going too far, and few can argue against the idea that making monkey trafficking a federal crime borders on the absurd.


That's right! Not a state crime (Whatever happened to the Tenth Amendment?), a Federal crime. One where they send Federal law enforcement officers after you. Not because you're a terrorist sneaking across our border, not because you're a kidnapper who's crossed state lines, you're a freaking monkey owner! (Think Ross Geller in the early episodes of "Friends"!)
"Mr. Geller! Put your hands up and step away from the monkey!"


Harry Reid, the dimbulb from Searchlight and Botox Nancy Pelosi should both be ashamed of themselves for neglecting their duty to this nation and monkeying around with laws that affect so few, are virtually meaningless and are in violation of the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution they supposedly swore to uphold. Nice to see they've got their priorities straight!

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Protected primates.


Cross Posted at Say Anything

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