You have a package of $800,000,00 USD with FedEx awaiting an outstanding payment of $150. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx
Mr. Fisher Brown.
First of all, it's from "fedex_courier@outlook.com". Don'tcha think an outfit as big as Fed Ex could afford their own domain name?
Second, if someone was going to send me money, don't you think they'd have used a check or a wire transfer instead?
But, by some great coincidence, my Uncle Guido*, who launders money for the mob, regularly sends me large bundles of cash, in small, unmarked bills, that unfortunately have higher than usual traces of cocaine on them. But even Uncle Guido isn't dumb enough not to prepay the shipping.
So, no, I won't be calling. If you'd like the number to call, you can feel free to pick up the package, (along with the dye packs and wireless GPS from the Feds), I'll happily give you the number...for only $150.00 USD. You're welcome!
*I know that sounds like a horrible racial stereotype. "Uncle Guido" is actually a pseudonym for my longtime, childhood friend, Eric Holder.
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