The Episode Where Proof Gets Wired...

I finally did it. I broke down and added basic cable to stately Proof Manor. I don't watch much TV. That and the additional cost of channels I had very little interest in, inoculated me from the siren song of cable's delights. But a nice lady called me up the other day and pitched the benefits of all they had to offer, for around an additional five dollars over what my internet was costing me, so I figured, for the price of a low fat, no foam, mocha-frappa-lappa-phi-beta-kappachino...what the hey?

So, I got my self installation kit on the doorway Thursday night, put it all together yesterday and today, I am *enjoying* the fruits of what cable has to offer. Which, as I found out, was a mixed bag. The first thing I noticed was that my picture quality had degraded. The nice gal on the phone failed to mention that HD came at a slightly higher price. The HD signals I pulled out of the air for free, made me feel as if I were the dermatologist to the stars. Every pore, every wrinkle, every nip and tuck was right there in my face. Remember the original Star Trek series? Every time they wanted to show how beautiful a woman was, they'd soften the focus and maybe shoot through a layer of gauze, so that any imperfections were erased. Let me tell you: Every woman looks gorgeous on cable! Heh. One advantage to cable though, it doesn't matter if I wear my glasses or not...it's just a tad fuzzy either way!

So, I scanned through the rest of the TV schedule, the part that I had always ignored before. With good reason. I haven't figured out all the channels I get yet, and I'm still figuring out all the acronyms. AMC is American Movie Channel. TMC is Turner Movie Channel. From the program line up tonight, five straight hours of nothing but Honey Boo Boo, I figure TLC stands for The Loser Channel.

So, we'll give it a fair trial. One positive note, "Justice with Judge Jeanine" is on FNC. I've seen some clips of her on You Tube and she sounds like a pretty sharp individual. I'll check that program out tonight. And I think there's a repeat or two of Fox News Sunday, so, anytime I want to sleep in on Sunday AMs, I'll get a second shot. If for some reason it doesn't work out, I'll give you the update in "Proof Unplugged"...