Friday, December 6, 2013

Proof Positive Glossary

Apostrophobia: (apostrophobic, adj.) Fear of putting apostrophes in the correct place. A rare mental disorder causing one to omit apostrophes where needed and insert them mindlessly where they do not belong. A cure for Apostrophobia can often be found by completing the third grade!

Avatar: Gives a whole new meaning to "feeling a little blue" now, doesn't it?

"Avatard": Someone who sits on the couch, watching a non-biodegradable disc on his big screen TV, sucking power out of the grid, dreamily thinking about the "simple life".

"Avatard Meister": Someone who releases a new version of "Avatar" on Earth Day, to profit from the gullibility of "Avatards".

"Baracollapse": The S&P rating, the stock market, the economy...

"Barama": Short for "Barack Obama".

Blogger Siteosis: a condition in which there is a greater than normal number of hits on a blog or website. (See "cytosis")

Blogjam: The opposite of blogger siteosis, generally caused by software upgrades, software glitches, or software.

"Capital Beyond the Control of the Capitol": The fear that government has, that somewhere, someone might have some money that is not under government control!

"C.C.C.P.": Church of Climate Change Progressives - "Faith in tearing down capitalism since 1968"

"Celebritician": Celebrity/ politician See: Barry & Michelle

"CFL": Catastrophic Failure Lamps (see also: Exploding Mercury Bombs)

Chappaquiddick Inactivity Syndrome: The ability to ignore the life and death peril to others while you contemplate how it may effect your own 'political viability'.

"Chicago Math": Two plus two equals...when counting votes, what would you like it to be?

: Fear of saying "Merry Christmas"

"Congress Critter": Any member of the House or Senate

: Any blatantly corrupt member of a party which shall remain nameless. At least, in the MSM stories about them, it remains nameless.

Cowardly Lyin': Virtually any member of the current administration.

"Damnocrat" : Not a rank and file Democrat...I was one of those once! Damnocrats are typically found in the leadership (and socialist meetings when no one is looking!)

"D- bauchery": Any sexual scandal that would sink a Republican, but is a résumé enhancement to Democrats.

"Delusioncrats": Similar to Damnocrats, but more likely to be found following Damnocrats.

"Dog whistle Racism": Only liberals can hear it!

"Droit de Seigneur": Where a man gets his 72 virgins the old fashioned at a time!

Edjumacation: What liberals receive when they are educated beyond their intelligence!

El Jefe Cypher: Barack Obama II

Fauxcumentary: Art form developed by Michael Moore, using dishonest editing to propagandize whichever cause he feels will make him the most money. Sometimes abbreviated "Faux cu".

Full o' bluster: Typically a politician that simply will not stop talking.

From your keyboard to God's email! : A variation on "From your lips to God's ears!"

Global Warming Precipitate: We used to call it "snow".

Gooberfletcher: An irrelevant, but mostly harmless person. "One who puts feathers on peanuts".

He Who Shall Not Be Re-elected™: See "(the) Least Serious President in the History of the Republic™"

Keith D'OH-lbermann: A talentless hack who receives more attention from people on the Internet for the outrageous things he says, than have ever watched his show on MSLSD.

King George Obama III: Known for raising taxes and passing legislation contrary to the consent of the governed.

(the) Least Serious President in the History of the Republic™: Barack Hussein Obama II (see: "He Who Shall Not Be Re-elected™")

Marxheimers: The inability of Marxists and socialists to remember that Marxism has never worked anywhere.

Massage-gynist: Someone who rubs women the wrong way

Midas Touch
: With Obama, it's like the muffler: Lots of noise, hot air and mildly toxic fumes.

Mooove On dot org: The not so gentle lowing of cattle and sheep prodded by the nipping and yapping of its herd dogs.

"Morning Sedition"
: NPR programing for the Left of Left of Center.

Nonument : Bridge or high speed rail to nowhere, etc.

: Rather than actually reading what you write, some liberals use their Amazing Kreskin power of mind reading to divine what you really, really think about something!

: I think you can break it down to its component parts: Obama con.

"Obama Justice Department": See: "Oxymoron"

"ObaMonopoly": Game where government controls health care, auto companies, student loans, etc.

"Obamoses" : (via Michael Ramirez) One who leads the Children of Israel back into Egypt

"Our Time, Our Talent and Our Treasure": What we need to give to take this country back!

: See: "Obama Justice Department"

Paulbotulism: While extremely small amounts can paralyze the brain, taken in large quantity, it can kill a political movement.

Premature Espeechulation: When the climax of your speech precedes any actual accomplishment.

Potemkin President: Barack Obama, carefully staging events with hermetically sealed, friendly audiences as props.

Proglodyte: A term coined by @ChrisLoesch. Since so many libs never provide evidence for what they bleat, I speculate it's because they're missing links.

Progressieves: Since none of their arguments really “hold water”.

Repetitive Eye Rolling Motion Injuries: RERMI for short. Endemic during the Obama Administration

RomneyCare: The Morass in Mass.

"Sarcoid": Sarcasm on steroids.

Second Hand Liberalism: Spread primarily through cable network and MSM news and talk. Warning: Do not operate motor vehicles under the influence of Second Hand Liberalism.

(shot) Across Obama's Bow: Likely to miss, what with him bent at the waist all the time!

"Sybil" Shepherd: A police dog with multiple personalities.

Uncle Sammy Claus: The beneficent person who bestows gifts on every little girl and boy in America, whether they've been bad or good, by extorting taxes from...elves, I suppose!

Unemployment: Five words that I first heard in reference to a third world country:
"Government employment is hidden unemployment."

VATheads: (Say it quickly!) People who think the American public isn't taxed enough!

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