Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Gospel According to Donald Trump*

Yea, verily, this day, I will quote from the Reverend Mr. Trump's chapter on Revenge:

"When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades."

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." -Romans 12:19

"When someone attacks you publicly, always strike back."

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. -Matthew 5:39

"Always have a good reason to get even."

But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace. - Psalm 37:11

"Go for the jugular so that people watching will not want to mess with you."

And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. -Luke 6:29

"If someone knows they made a mistake and they apologize, forgive them and move on, but never trust them again."

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. -Matthew 18: 21-22

*Compared to that other crummy one!
All Scripture quoted is from the King James version (KJV). Unless otherwise noted, all Trump quotes are from Think BIG and Kick Ass in Business and Life (TBaKAiBaL).

Bonus Wisdom:

“I figured it was the bank’s problem, not mine. What the hell did I care? I actually told one bank, ‘I told you you shouldn’t have loaned me that money. I told you the g*dd*mn deal was no good.’  -Donald Trump, 2008

Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded** no man. 
-2 Corinthians 7:2

Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? -James 3: 10-11

Editor's Note: Now before all the haters start hatin', I realize that being a good Christian or even a Christian at all, is not a prerequisite for the Presidency.*** But, IMHO, honesty is. When Trump waves his Bible around (like he accuses Cruz of doing), and brags what a good Christian he is, when he's soliciting votes from evangelicals.... color me skeptical. ("Two" Corinthians? Please!) It's not our place to judge a man's heart, but we are allowed to judge men's actions.

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the

kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. -Matthew 7: 15-21

**Except for bankruptcy, because then I can legally screw you out of what I owe you...sucker!

***A snarkier individual might cite Bill Clinton or Barack Obama here. I'm just not that guy!

No comments:

Post a Comment