Tuesday, May 11, 2021

I'm Sorry, Proof, But It Looks Like We're Going to have to Tune You Up!

Now, I've seen enough cop shows to know that when people talk like that, somebody's going to get hurt!
Odds are, it's going to be me!

I may be off the grid for a bit. I've never been admitted to a hospital before. The first one I ever visited was with my Mom. She wouldn't even tell them my name when I first went in! Trust me, this was NOT on my bucket list. 

I asked my doctor's nurse practitioner if she knew the three reasons a guy would call his doctor or go to a hospital. She said no, so I enlightened her:

1) Uncontrollable bleeding - if you can't stop the bleeding, you should see a professional

2) Bone protruding through the skin (May be accompanied by #1)

3) Inability to regain consciousness - in all fairness, this is one that has to be done by your buddies, so there are really only 2! 
 My goal today is to try to avoid #3, since I don't have as many buddies as I used to! If I have access to my phone (and possibly a charger) , I will update the situation as often as I can, probably out of sheer boredom.

If you don't hear from me in a REALLY long time, keep reading the blog. Every good newspaper has a morgue, and the blog's obituary is already scheduled to run sometime in the future. (Has been for years!)

Now if I can just smuggle some brass knucks into that paper gown, maybe the "tune up" won't be as bad as I feared?

Pray for me, if you're the praying sort. I need the prayer and you need the practice! 
But don't worry about me. To live is Christ and to die is gain. I don't mind dying at all, it's just it puts such a crimp in everything else I had planned.

It's probably nothing life threatening, ,but I can see it from here. Just doing this out of an abundance of caution. (And my cardiologist needs a new speedboat!)

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