“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” -George Carlin

"I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is if part of hell breaks loose. It will be much harder to detect." — G...

"I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is if part of hell breaks loose. It will be much harder to detect." — Ge...

Always do whatever's next. - George Carlin

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. -George Carlin

"When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be in jack-boots. It will be in Nike sneakers and...