Friday, November 8, 2013

Nervous Democrat Senators Up for Re-election in 2014, Meet With Bamboozler-in-Chief at White House

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Meanwhile...OJ's, er, Obama's hunt for the real liar continues!

Obama invited sixteen nervous Democrats up to the White House on Wednesday, to allay their concerns about Obamacare. More precisely, to allay their fears that Obamacare will cost them their jobs in 2014 if something isn't done. And while some may speculate that Obama was there to encourage them to stay the course, to embrace what is, in his dreams, a popular piece of legislation that has become the cornerstone of his 'legacy', I believe his encouragement took a slightly different form. In fact, I know it did.

You know how people say, "I'd like to be a fly on the wall during that conversation!"? We, at Proof Positive, had an actual fly on the wall. The transcript may not be word for word, as my English to Fly dictionary is a couple of decades out of date. (And you don't want to get me started on how Google Translate mucks it up!) The following is a very close approximation of what was said:
Obama: "Welcome to the White House, fellow Democrats! Point of order, we did not have you pass through the metal detectors on the way into the meeting, but we will be using them on the way out. Michelle has "dibs" on the silverware.

As many of you know, You're getting creamed in the polls. Obamacare is still just slightly more popular than Osama bin Laden, but, out at sea, his site is somewhat more accessible than ours.

I've spoken to Kathleen Sebelius, and she assures me that the site will be fully operational, right after someone named "Lucifer" takes a gold medal on the "luge".

Now, we all know how the game is played. You've all sold your souls to the Democrat Party. If we tell you to jump, you ask "How high?" But, since you have elections coming up, particularly in a red or purple states, we know that you might have to at least give lip service to the beliefs of your constituents, even when it contradicts the policies you have voted for, sworn to uphold and that you may personally believe in. Here at Casa Blanca, we call that "bamboozling".

It is imperative that we take the House and hold the Senate in order to fully implement my second term agenda, whatever that is! Therefore I am sending you forth as my 'sleepers'. Even though I will know you march in lockstep with my agenda, I want you to go forth and pretend you disagree with me, not just that my agenda is making it hard for you to maintain your deception with your constituents.

I want you to become sixteen "Mavericks" - sixteen brave Democrats who are bold enough to stand against me on Obamacare...not of course, like in 2010 when the vote you cast for it actually mattered, but now, when you are up for reelection, it's 'Sic Semper Tyrannis!', or, something...

All these people being so upset about the lies we told them and millions of people losing their health coverage is just the sort of crisis our brother Rahm told us not to let go to waste! So, I want each of to come up with a different plan to "fix" Obamacare. Don't try anything organized, because then, people will expect it to work. Besides, the more disorganized you are, the more people will think, "Well, they're just being Democrats!"

A couple of you can call for some kind of a delay...hopefully long enough to get you past your next election, but if not, at least you can say you were "doing something'! Mary, stick with your "Let's make the promise good" legislation. The promise had nothing to do with the actual legislation and you'd practically have to repeal the whole ACA in order to make it work, so it's not going to go anywhere, but it sure sounds good!

The rest of you guys come up with meaningless reforms that haven't a snowball's chance in Hell of getting passed, and you'll be able to make a pretty convincing campaign mailer out of it. By making all the right noises, you'll be able to convince the folks back home that your...your... What's that thing called again, Joe?

Joe Biden: "Heart"

Obama: That's right! That your "heart" was in the right place! Just remember that it's not really lying unless they catch you, and sometimes even then you can spin your way out of it. Any questions? Comments??

Senators: "We love you Barry!"

Obama: "Of course you do. Franken, put the gravy boat back!"

At this point, the fly found some slightly rotten arugula in the White House pantry that had more collective appeal than sixteen Democat Senators, so the rest of the meeting is lost to history.

Senator Mary Landrieu, (D-LA), this week introduced a bill called the "Keeping the Affordable Care Act Promise Act." Ms. Landrieu had this to say about her proposed piece of legislation:
"When we passed the Affordable Care Act, we did so with the intention that if you liked your health plan, you could keep it. A promise was made and this legislation will ensure that this promise is kept."

Mary, Mary, Mary! Did you even read the freaking bill before you voted on it? No. So how did you have any idea what the intention of the law was? If you had read it and didn't understand all the big words, perhaps someone on your staff could have helped you with it. You may have bought the same big lie from Obama that your constituents did, about how "If you liked your plan or your doctor, you could keep them", but the language of the bill, incidentally, that part which you were responsible for understanding before you voted, clearly indicated that millions of people would lose their current health insurance, even if they "liked" it.

Our republic runs best on the balance and separation of powers. Blindly signing a bill whose consequences you did not understand, should disqualify you from any future elective office. Period.*

A couple of Senators are suggesting delays, either until the website is fixed or a year, like the small business mandate. Don't look for any organized opposition. The Dems have put themselves between a rock and a hard place. By shutting down the government rather than delaying or reforming the ACA, it makes it that much harder for them to admit the Republicans were right and then delay the very thing they fought tooth and nail to preserve.

Here's the thing to remember if your Democrat Senator or Representative starts posturing against Obamacare between now and the 201 election: Ask them two questions: "Did you vote for it?" and "Did you read the bill before you voted for it?" If the answers are "Yes" and "No" respectively, then you should believe everything they say, as much as "If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it. Period."

*Did you understand what I meant when I ended my argument with "Period."? That's how the American people understood Obama when he lied to their face.

Original art by John Cox. More at John Cox Art
Cross posted at LCR

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