Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Justice is Not Only Blind...

...but I stole her seeing eye dog as well!

Justice will have to muddle along without me for a while I guess! When voir dire started last week and I stated that I was a blogger in my spare time. The defense attorney asked me if it was my ambition to be the jury foreman. But, I've herded enough cats in my day, so I figured as long as someone else wanted the job, that was fine with me.

Today, it was the DA's bite at the apple. He recalled that I had said my blog was "mostly political", so he asked if I was a Democrat or a Republican. This drew an objection from the defense counsel (the first I'd ever heard in jury selection) which was sustained by the judge. The DA then asked which way I leaned when I blog, to which I replied, "Back in my chair." This got a pretty good laugh (I'm here all week. Try the veal!) But afterward, I admitted that my blog tilts right of center. (Possibly right of Attila the Hun, but there was no sense volunteering that! )

I believe that was the beginning of the end. I survived the first several rounds of peremptory challenges. After the seventh or eighth person had been excused, I thought I might actually end up on this jury. But, after defense counsel had a lengthy discussion with the defendant, I was excused with thanks for my service. (Either that, or when I came back to court in my serape, with an unlit cheroot clamped in my teeth, whistling the tune from "Hang 'em High", they might have gotten the wrong idea!)

Now for the test: Which of those three items can you not bring into a courthouse in San Joaquin County in California:
A) a pocket knife
B) a quarter
C) a keyring screw driver

Answer: A) and C)

I knew better than to bring a pocket knife through the metal detector, but I was flat out dumbfounded that I couldn't bring the tiny screwdriver on my keyring into the courthouse. The quarter is there for size comparison. My post office box key is longer and pointier. I've carried that same screw driver on countless airplanes all over this country and Canada, but the San Joaquin County courthouse is safe from the threat I pose to loose screws everywhere!

And you thought the TSA was bad!


  1. I don't know, Proof, maybe a stand up routine might supplement your blogging nicely. Heh.

  2. Apparently, there were enough loose screws in the courthouse for them to consider you a threat.

    1. It's California! The loose screws are exponential!


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