Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Predictions for 2010

My Predictions for 2010 Making predictions is always a bit of risky business. Back in August, I predicted that a health care bill would be passed before the end of the year. And it did pass both the House and Senate. Will I get credit just because the bill wasn’t signed? Noooooooo! But, someone asked me recently for my predictions for 2010, and though my crystal ball is still a bit hazy, there are the things I have a good gut feeling about:
Sarah Palin will continue her book tour, Facebook updates and personal appearances. In a related story, incidents of stroke will rise in New York, San Francisco and Madison, WI. Harry Reid will remind us all, at least once, how many people will lose their health care insurance and their lives every single day before health care reform takes place…in 2013. You will no longer be able to purchase a house in Detroit on your credit card, as credit card fees outstrip the value of the real estate. The TSA will enforce new “security” procedures that do nothing to make you more secure. Michael Vick will continue to be “pounded” with dog cruelty jokes. America will get to see the Seahawks finally win a game. Unfortunately, they will be playing poker at the time! Obama’s teleprompter will malfunction at least once. Joe Biden is studying tapes of Alexander Haig‘s “I’m in charge” moment to prepare himself for any eventuality. Janet Napolitano will be strip searched going through an airport security line. She will pass through three more times to ensure that the “system is working”. (After the third time through the airport security gate, all the male TSA employees commit suicide.-sig94) The Pro Bowl will not be held in Hawaii for the first time since 1979. Honolulu cabbies may be forced to hock their $800 belt buckles in order to pay the bills.* It will be discovered that Obama staffers were not responsible for the “Chairman Mao” ornament on the White House Christmas tree. It seems the Pol Pot ornament was just not ready in time! Obama will play golf. Trolls will wish conservatives dead, tortured, stricken with poverty, cancer and any number of vile and deadly diseases 4,722 times. They will tell us that conservatives are hateful ones 9,444 times. Al Gore will fly in his private jet, met by a limousine, to speak about how much we need to change our lifestyle, or at least to buy carbon credits from him. And, last but not least, liberal trolls will still be clueless.
A mildly different version is cross posted at Say Anything *Little "In joke"


  1. I agree with your predictions, with only one change. After the third time through the airport security gate, all the male TSA employees commit suicide.