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Scientists indicate that Oreo cookies are the most addictive snack in the world. That’s what scientists have come up with. They’re spending our scientific dollars — nothing yet on cancer, but Oreo cookies are the most addictive snack.

If you get addicted to Oreo cookies, you don’t go to Betty Ford. You go to Betty Crocker.

-Jay Leno

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"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See? I Told You So'!"
- Jay Leno

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"I was thinking about Thanksgiving and I realized who we should put in charge of the Obamacare website – the Butterball hotline people. Have you ever called them? They always pick up. They're friendly. They have all of the information you need. And they're used to dealing with big turkeys."

–Jay Leno

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NASA has successfully tested a broadband communications system that’s built into the lunar atmosphere explorer probe. It sends data to and from the moon at the rate of 622 megabits per second. To the moon and back in a second. In a related story, the Obamacare website is still down.

-Jay Leno

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John Kerry said during the Senate hearing that we are not the world’s policemen. Really, then how come we eat most of the world’s donuts?

-Jay Leno

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Plans are being discussed for a reality show based on the White House. It’s called “Lame Duck Dynasty.”

-Jay Leno

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I’ve lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.

-Jay Leno

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You can tell that fall is coming. The leaves are changing faster than the White House position on Syria.

-Jay Leno

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One of the reasons al-Qaida is upset with the United States is because we are giving aid to Yemen. We didn’t have a choice. When life hands you Yemen, you give them Yemen aid.

- Jay Leno

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The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care Act will cost them thousands extra a year in premiums. Wait a minute. It’s their bill. If it’s too expensive, why did they name it the Affordable Care Act?

- Jay Leno

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In the NFL, 31 players have been arrested just since the Super Bowl. In fact, a lot of teams are switching to the no-huddle offense because players aren’t allowed to associate with known felons.

-Jay Leno

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The world’s oldest human tumor has been found on the rib of a Neanderthal skeleton in Croatia. The tumor would have been discovered sooner, but they have government healthcare over there.

-Jay Leno

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I mean what’s going on? The White House has looked into our phone records, checking our computers, monitoring our e-mails. When did the government suddenly become our psycho ex-girlfriend? When did that happen?

-Jay Leno

Stockton, California: The Best and the Brightest

My current hometown of Stockton California has taken a lot of abuse of late. The largest city in the US to go into bankruptcy, taking it "on the chin" from late night comedians like Jay Leno:

"Stockton's so broke, Lindsey Lohan wouldn't shoplift there."

"Stockton's so broke, a North Korean missile would raise property values."

So, there's a nice little human interest story to balance the scales a bit. It involves a fourteen year old girl and her science project. Most of us at fourteen might have stuck some wires in a potato to power a clock, or something, but Gianna Chien had something a little more sophisticated in mind.

"A California teen discovered the magnets in iPad 2 tablets and covers are capable of interfering with cardiac rhythm devices, like pacemakers, according to the Heart Rhythm Society. The research, conducted by 14-year-old Gianna Chien of Stockton, Calif , was presented Thursday at Heart Rhythm 2013, the Society’s 34th Annual Scientific Sessions.

“iPad 2s use magnets to help secure the cover to the tablet. Since people hold tablets so close to their chest, I wanted to see if these magnets could affect cardiac device performance,” said Chien, who initially organized the study as part of a school science fair project.

Cardiac rhythm devices can be affected by magnets and radiofrequency energy in products ranging from cellphones to MRI machines, the Heart Rhythm Society reported. When cardiac devices are near magnets, they switch into “magnet mode,” which could potentially disrupt function. With the help of her cardiologist father, Chien asked 26 patients with implantable cardiac devices (ICDs) to hold the iPad 2 at reading distance. At this length, the iPad caused no electromagnetic interference.

However, when participants placed the tablet on their chests, as if they had fallen asleep with the iPad there, “magnet mode” was triggered in 30 percent of patients' ICDs, the Heart Rhythm Society reported."

Wow. No telling how many lives might have been saved, or how many Apple engineers are getting to work overtime to redesign the magnetic functions of the ipad2, or how many of Apple's lawyers are formulating the costs of a recall vs. the cost of potential litigation. All from a fourteen year old Stockton girl.

And you want to hear the funny part? Her project wasn't considered the best. Two other people tied for first! The breakthrough research on the effect of ipads on pacemakers came in third!

Some day, when they've put Leno in a home, and he's laying in bed watching reruns of his shows on his ipad, he can thank a Stockton girl that his pacemaker doesn't switch off. You're welcome, Jay!

Update:
Stockton's brightest and Best, II. The day before, there was a story about two 16 year olds, a 17 and an 18 year old, from my old high school, who built a working prosthetic arm for less than $20.00

STOCKTON - Yael Castillo slipped on a prosthetic arm the other day and flexed the device's two prongs to pick up tennis balls and toss them into a bucket, to lift a can of soda and drink from it, even to grasp a pen and sign his name.

Was there anything he couldn't do with the artificial limb? "Maybe use a touchscreen phone," Castillo said.

The prosthesis cost $19.44 to build. It was designed and constructed by Castillo and fellow Stagg High School students Brooklyn Omstead, Anthony Nichols and Gabriel Zuniga. Today at University of the Pacific, Stagg's prosthetic arm just might pick up one more thing. It might grab the Math Engineering Science Achievement, or MESA, state championship.

"For less than $40, they had to design something to replace the arm and hand," explained Stagg's MESA teacher, Andrew Walter.

Cross posted at LCR.

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North Korean officials reportedly are planning a cyber attack on the U.S. in an effort to bring our economy to a halt. Nice try guys. You’re five years too late.

- Jay Leno,

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Former Chicago Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. plead guilty to misusing hundreds of thousands of dollars of campaign funds for personal use, including buying a $43,000 Rolex watch. How ironic is that? All that money on a watch, and now he’s going to wind up doing time.

-Jay Leno

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“Today in Washington, President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: ‘Running Deficit.’”

–Jay Leno

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“The Giants swept the Tigers four straight to win the World Series. The last time a Tiger took a beating this bad, he had a nine-iron through the back window of his Escalade.”

–Jay Leno

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“According to the Labor Department, unemployment fell from 8.3 percent to 8.1 percent last month. But that’s because 368,000 Americans gave up looking for work. Today, President Obama said that’s a step in the right direction, and he is encouraging more Americans to give up looking for work.”

–Jay Leno

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“According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama’s Twitter followers are fake. They don’t even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn’t be any jobs for them.”

–Jay Leno