Alternate Reading of Mayan Calendar Suggests End of the World is Next Week

Mayans, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh, My!

Maya Con Dios - End of the Calendar or End of the World?

We wouldn't be the Official Blog of the End of the World™, if we didn't note at least in passing, the Mayan "prediction" of the end of the world tomorrow, Dec 22. As we pointed out the last time the world was going to end, the old New York Times joke:

World Ends Tomorrow! Women and Minorities Hit Hardest!

Obviously, if the world ends tomorrow, there will be no discrimination according to gender or race. Or Christmas, one would suppose. That must really be disturbing to all you who did your Christmas shopping early!

The first time I heard that the Mayan calendar was coming to an end, I thought of an old key chain I once had as a kid. Wait just a minute! Follow me on this! It was a perpetual calendar in the shape of a tube, about three and a half inches long, with a cap that rotated on the bottom. By rotating the cap, the calendar would be correct for years and years and years. I can't remember what the end date on the calendar was. Sometime far into the future.(If it was 2012, boy is MY face red!) But when the calendar came to an end, it was just because it was a clever device, but not perfect. It didn't mean the world was coming to an end. This is what I suspect happened to our Mayan friends. I have a stack of old calendars in the closet. None of them marked the end of the world when they expired.

By the way, rumor has it that the fall of the Mayan civilization was a result of them trying to carry this on a keychain:


But, on a serious note, the world will end tomorrow...for someone. Someone's world will end because of cancer, or the car they didn't see coming or a body that's just worn out. Tragically, the world ended a week ago for 20 young children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary school. They had no idea that it would, but it did. It happens that way to people without a care in the world and people who have suffered for so long they look forward to the release.

Assuming for a second the Mayans were right. How are you going to spend the last few hours of your life? Assume for the moment they were wrong. That's still no guarantee that these might not be the last few hours of your life.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not trying to be morbid. I'm a realist. And I know that far too many people pass through the days without really living. Without paying attention to the important things in life. After the mayhem at Sandy Hook, many parents hugged their children their children tightly that night. Shed tears for them. Shed tears for the pain that others were feeling.

I guess what I'm saying is, why should it take a tragedy, or the end of the world for you to see what is most important in your life and live accordingly?

I want you to think about that, and then bookmark this blog, if you haven't already, just in case the world doesn't end, so you can come back. I'll be taking attendance!

Signs of the Apocalypse - Does Twinkie Shortage Mark TEOTWAWKI?

In keeping with my reputation as The Official Blog of the End of the World™, I figured it was time for an update. The signs and portents that led to Harold Camping's predictions have come and gone, but the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21 is fast approaching. What did those wily Mayan boogers know that we don't???

One totally unexpected foreshadowing omen of the Signs of the Apocalypse is...a worldwide Twinkie Shortage. People are rushing to the stores and cleaning the shelves of Hostess goodies as though they were battening down for a hurricane or some other natural disaster.

Could the absence of delicious, creme filled sponge cakes be a sign of The End of the World as We Know It (TEOTWAWKI)? Come to think of it, TEOTWAWKI does sound like it could be the name of a minor Mayan deity, doesn't it? Could another baker buy the rights and recipe for Twinkies? Almost certainly, but not in time to appease the wrath of TEOTWAWKI by December 21.

As dire as the prospects of a world without Ho-Ho's, I believe that we can weather this catastrophe as well. Just as we survived the loss of Sugar Jets, Sugar Smacks, Sugar Pops, and Sugar Frosted Flakes, this too, shall pass!

And remember! Just because the world isn't ending December 21st. doesn't mean you can't get hit by a bus, so let's be careful out there!


Update:
And since I'm not the only one with this particular earworm, let me share the wealth...