Showing posts with label Twinkies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twinkies. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Twinkie Watch 2013
Good news, fellow babies! (Channeling my inner Johnny Fever here!) The Twinkie is back! Well, it will be back July 15th.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Signs of the Apocalypse - Does Twinkie Shortage Mark TEOTWAWKI?
In keeping with my reputation as The Official Blog of the End of the World™, I figured it was time for an update. The signs and portents that led to Harold Camping's predictions have come and gone, but the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21 is fast approaching. What did those wily Mayan boogers know that we don't???
One totally unexpected foreshadowing omen of the Signs of the Apocalypse is...a worldwide Twinkie Shortage. People are rushing to the stores and cleaning the shelves of Hostess goodies as though they were battening down for a hurricane or some other natural disaster.
Could the absence of delicious, creme filled sponge cakes be a sign of The End of the World as We Know It (TEOTWAWKI)? Come to think of it, TEOTWAWKI does sound like it could be the name of a minor Mayan deity, doesn't it? Could another baker buy the rights and recipe for Twinkies? Almost certainly, but not in time to appease the wrath of TEOTWAWKI by December 21.
As dire as the prospects of a world without Ho-Ho's, I believe that we can weather this catastrophe as well. Just as we survived the loss of Sugar Jets, Sugar Smacks, Sugar Pops, and Sugar Frosted Flakes, this too, shall pass!
And remember! Just because the world isn't ending December 21st. doesn't mean you can't get hit by a bus, so let's be careful out there!
Update:
And since I'm not the only one with this particular earworm, let me share the wealth...
Friday, November 16, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
GM is Alive (?) and Chris Stevens is Dead
Probably too late to reach the skulls full of mush that need this the worst, but I'm tired of hearing this whole "GM is alive" bunk. I call it bunk, because GM would have weathered a restructuring with or without Obama's meddling.
You ever eat a Twinkie®? Hostess Twinkies®...yellow cake outside, creamy filling in the middle. When was the last time you ate one? I saw some last time I was in the grocery store. Did you know that Hostess had declared bankruptcy? At least once, maybe twice? And yet, they are still on the shelves...how can this be?
Well, for starters, there's more than one kind of bankruptcy. Chapter eleven gives a company a chance to restructure and reorganize and ideally, come out whole on the other side. Many people are seemingly only familiar with a chapter thirteen bankruptcy, where the door are shuttered, the remaining assets divided up among their creditors.
And every time Democrat, lying through their teeth, politicians (but I repeat myself), spoke of what Romney wanted to do to (or for) the auto industry, they spoke of bankruptcy in terms of chapter thirteen, as if unemployed auto workers were at the top of Romney's wish list.
Enter Obama. Instead of allowing GM and Chrysler to go through a legal restructuring, he imposed a political restructuring. Only, unlike the bankruptcy at Hostess which allowed them to renegotiate unreasonable or overly expensive union contracts, the political deal locked in lavish union salaries and benefits, at the expense of bond holders and the American taxpayer.
Yes, GM is "alive". But, so is Hostess! Obama didn't save jobs at GM so much as he saved overly generous union benefits. And then, he gave a large controlling interest in GM to the unions. This will make it easier for GM to negotiate reasonable contracts with the unions in the future /sarc.
(BRB - all this talk of Twinkies® is making me hungry!)
Much better! Now, where were we? Ah, yes, political restructuring. Businesses need money to run on, to meet payroll, make expansions, buy new raw materials, etc. People who bought GM bonds, did so at a slightly reduced rate or return (how much money they got paid for their investment, like interest on a savings account), for a guarantee of lesser risk. Risky investments pay higher rates of return, because there's less guarantee you'll even get your money back. As such, GM bondholders were supposed to get "first dibs" in any restructuring process. But since Obama's restructuring was political, he could make up the rules as he went along. (Maybe this is what he meant about "not everyone playing by the same rules"?)
GM bondholders got the shaft, in favor of the unions. Non union subsidiaries of GM, like Delphi, had their pensions decimated to cover the union pensions. Welcome to the crazy world of "fairness" under Barack Obama! I cannot tell you the extent, but if I were an investor in bonds, I would keep my money in a mattress before putting it at risk in any company the president might want to restructure for the purpose of his friends!
And even though "GM is alive and bin Laden is dead" makes a lovely bumper sticker, it is based on two lies. One, is that GM would have collapsed without Obama's political restructuring. That is false. Many companies have gone in and out of chapter eleven bankruptcy and are thriving today. The main difference is, that there are very specific rules and laws governing legal bankruptcy. Obama's was more reminiscent of a banana republic.
Second, for all the chest thumping at the Charlotte convention, and Democrats continually "spiking the ball" about the death of bin Laden, al Qaeda did not curl up and die when bin Laden was shot. For the Obama administration to equate the death of one man to the death of a movement is foolishly naive. When Lincoln or JFK was assassinated, did the country cease to exist because we were momentarily leaderless? Or did we pick up right where we left off, only under different leadership?
Instead of "GM is alive and bin Laden is dead", substitute "Al Qaeda is alive and the economy is dead" and you'll be better at summing up the last four years of this administration. Or you could personalize it: "Al Qaeda is alive and Chris Stevens is dead".
America: we can do better! Tomorrow's the day to find out!
Cross posted at LCR, Say Anything.
You ever eat a Twinkie®? Hostess Twinkies®...yellow cake outside, creamy filling in the middle. When was the last time you ate one? I saw some last time I was in the grocery store. Did you know that Hostess had declared bankruptcy? At least once, maybe twice? And yet, they are still on the shelves...how can this be?
Well, for starters, there's more than one kind of bankruptcy. Chapter eleven gives a company a chance to restructure and reorganize and ideally, come out whole on the other side. Many people are seemingly only familiar with a chapter thirteen bankruptcy, where the door are shuttered, the remaining assets divided up among their creditors.
And every time Democrat, lying through their teeth, politicians (but I repeat myself), spoke of what Romney wanted to do to (or for) the auto industry, they spoke of bankruptcy in terms of chapter thirteen, as if unemployed auto workers were at the top of Romney's wish list.
Enter Obama. Instead of allowing GM and Chrysler to go through a legal restructuring, he imposed a political restructuring. Only, unlike the bankruptcy at Hostess which allowed them to renegotiate unreasonable or overly expensive union contracts, the political deal locked in lavish union salaries and benefits, at the expense of bond holders and the American taxpayer.
Yes, GM is "alive". But, so is Hostess! Obama didn't save jobs at GM so much as he saved overly generous union benefits. And then, he gave a large controlling interest in GM to the unions. This will make it easier for GM to negotiate reasonable contracts with the unions in the future /sarc.
(BRB - all this talk of Twinkies® is making me hungry!)
Much better! Now, where were we? Ah, yes, political restructuring. Businesses need money to run on, to meet payroll, make expansions, buy new raw materials, etc. People who bought GM bonds, did so at a slightly reduced rate or return (how much money they got paid for their investment, like interest on a savings account), for a guarantee of lesser risk. Risky investments pay higher rates of return, because there's less guarantee you'll even get your money back. As such, GM bondholders were supposed to get "first dibs" in any restructuring process. But since Obama's restructuring was political, he could make up the rules as he went along. (Maybe this is what he meant about "not everyone playing by the same rules"?)
GM bondholders got the shaft, in favor of the unions. Non union subsidiaries of GM, like Delphi, had their pensions decimated to cover the union pensions. Welcome to the crazy world of "fairness" under Barack Obama! I cannot tell you the extent, but if I were an investor in bonds, I would keep my money in a mattress before putting it at risk in any company the president might want to restructure for the purpose of his friends!
And even though "GM is alive and bin Laden is dead" makes a lovely bumper sticker, it is based on two lies. One, is that GM would have collapsed without Obama's political restructuring. That is false. Many companies have gone in and out of chapter eleven bankruptcy and are thriving today. The main difference is, that there are very specific rules and laws governing legal bankruptcy. Obama's was more reminiscent of a banana republic.
Second, for all the chest thumping at the Charlotte convention, and Democrats continually "spiking the ball" about the death of bin Laden, al Qaeda did not curl up and die when bin Laden was shot. For the Obama administration to equate the death of one man to the death of a movement is foolishly naive. When Lincoln or JFK was assassinated, did the country cease to exist because we were momentarily leaderless? Or did we pick up right where we left off, only under different leadership?
Instead of "GM is alive and bin Laden is dead", substitute "Al Qaeda is alive and the economy is dead" and you'll be better at summing up the last four years of this administration. Or you could personalize it: "Al Qaeda is alive and Chris Stevens is dead".
America: we can do better! Tomorrow's the day to find out!
Cross posted at LCR, Say Anything.
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