Top Gun Maverick - See It

I saw Top Gun Maverick yesterday. If you liked Top Gun, you should see it in the theater. 

I'm not going to write a review on it, but it may be one of the top two movies I've ever seen. 

Definitely in the Top Ten.

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You...

Dunkirk: A Movie Review, Sort Of

In Spring, a young man's fancy turns to not getting shot, not getting blown up, not drowning and just possibly, making it home alive. Late Spring, anyway. May of 1940. The coast of France. The beaches of Dunkirk.

Director Christopher Nolan is described by IMDB as "Best known for his cerebral, often nonlinear storytelling". The movie Dunkirk is told from three points of view, and nonlinear is a good term for it. One point of view is from soldiers on the beach, another, that of a Spitfire pilot and the last, the civilian captain of one of the boats in the rescue flotilla.

The nonlinear aspect is off putting to some. In one scene you see from the cockpit of a Spitfire, pursuit of a German Messerschmidt about to attack some ships. Later in the film, from the point of view from the ship, you see a Messerschmidt about to attack, pursued by a Spitfire. Each layer adds to a fuller understanding of what is taking place, though it may not be obvious at first.

I'd known the story of Dunkirk since I was a lad, but I'd never realized its scope: four hundred thousand men, surrounded, with their backs against the sea, sitting ducks for the Luftwaffe. In a case of what may have been dueling bureaucracies, the Germans would not commit their tanks to finishing off the British army, along with their French and Belgian allies, and the British will not commit a sufficient number of Spitfires to fly cover, or destroyers to relocate the army, lest they be needed to protect the homefront.

Speaking of scope, the cinematography is tremendous and sweeping. The aerial dogfights are spectacular. The attention to historical accuracy was very good. For example the depiction of the Spitfire pilot hand pumping his landing gear was not uncommon, even in some American fighters of that era.

There have been several complaints about the movie, one from an Internet twit, who shall remain nameless, who said the movie "feels like an excuse for men to celebrate maleness". There is very little resembling machismo in this film. Just the historical account of 400,000 men trying to stay alive. Perhaps 50,000 to 70,000 of them didn't. They were bombed, strafed, torpedoed, many drowned. Those who survived, some were wounded, most watched their friends and complete strangers dying around them, wondering if any minute that fate might be theirs. Yet some extremely shallow twit person speaks of "celebrating maleness".

Still, this may not be the most stupid complaint. I hear some were chiding the movie for its "lack of diversity". Translation: a movie about an historical event where close to 100% were white males, there was not enough "diversity" in the casting. Funny. I didn't hear anyone complain there wasn't enough "diversity" on Wonder Woman's island of Themyscira, where there wasn't a man or transgendered woman in sight! They could have cast Caitlyn Jenner, in the role she was born to play, an Amazon with more upper body strength than the rest, kicking their butts from here to Sunday!
Nope. No men. No transgendered! 

Last, I heard a complaint that Churchill's role should have been bigger. (He wasn't in the movie at all!) One soldier returning home from Dunkirk did read an excerpt from one of Churchill's speeches about "fighting on the beaches", but that was about it. The movie wasn't about Churchill. It really wasn't about the war. In fact, there's hardly a German to be seen anywhere.

The movie isn't about heroism, writ large, but more of a quiet, resolute heroism. A calm determination to do what needs to be done, whatever the personal cost might be. Duty, not machismo.
The father who lost a son to the war resolutely determines that he will not let that happen to his fellow countrymen if he has anything to say about it. 

I will reluctantly have to add a fourth, but minor quibble myself. Putting on my Mr. Language Person hat, at the very start of the movie, they put up three statements, all beginning with "The enemy have...". I'm sorry, but shouldn't that be "the enemy has"? Or "the Germans have"? Enemy is a collective noun, like "herd". Even though there are many cattle, you say that the herd is here. Or our enemies are here. You would never say, "The herd are here", would you?

In spite of its brief grammatical lapse, and the unbearable whiteness of its cast /sarc, I recommend you see Dunkirk. It is a realistic glimpse into what may have been the turning point of WWII. Had the British army been wiped out at Dunkirk, there may never have been a D-Day.

I give it four out of five stars.

Spider-Man Homecoming: A Movie Review, Sort Of

First, a synopsis from IMDB:

Peter Parker, with the help of his mentor Tony Stark, tries to balance his life as an ordinary high school student in New York City while fighting crime as his superhero alter ego Spider-Man when a new threat emerges.

You remember that commercial where one lady is nattering on about 'friending people' and pictures 'on her wall', and her friend says, "That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works!"? That's me during Spider-man: Homecoming.

I knew from the trailers that there was a possibility of a love/hate relationship with this movie. If your only experience with Spider-Man is his appearance in the last Captain America movie, or possibly the last two reboots of the franchise, you might really like this film. If you're an aficionado of Spidey from the comics, you may have a few problems.

Here Be Spoilers!!

Herein I reveal my inner geek by knowing much too much about the subject. First thing in favor of the movie: It has Robert Downey Jr. in the role he was born to play: Iron Man. Against? Spider-Man never had Iron Man as a mentor, nor did Tony Stark cobble together some super powered suit with a Siri type, interactive computer. In favor? Spidey uses a mechanical web shooter that can run out of fluid at the most inopportune times, as opposed to the Tobey MacGuire's Spidey, who somehow grew ducts in his wrists that inexplicably shot out webs. In the comics, Peter Parker invented both the web shooters and the fluid and created his own costume. Not an Iron Man in sight! (Maybe an ironing board?)

Spidey's high school nemesis Flash Thompson, a burly (Caucasian) jock becomes simply "Flash" in this version, not a jock at all, but a fellow, slightly cooler nerd than Peter, in the same academic decathlon, played by a gentleman of Guatemalan descent. Which is not a problem other than constantly asking myself, "Is that supposed to be the same guy?" Juvenile humor alert: in this version, rather than physically intimidating him, Flash gets off on repeatedly calling him "Penis Parker". Real highbrow stuff!

A major annoyance and departure from the comics, is they gave Spidey a sidekick, ,a big Hawaiian kid who discovers Peter's secret identity early in the movie. The first of many. (People who know his secret, not Hawaiians!) Ned is really annoying. I mean really. No sidekick in the comics. Plus, the ante penultimate scene in the movie has young, hot Aunt May walking in on Peter in his room in his Spider-Man suit. (Ladies! Please knock!!)

The villain, played very nicely by Michael Keaton, was taken from the early issues of the comic, The Vulture, but they changed his origin to dovetail with the first Avengers movie, and beefed up his costume. A lot!

Spidey spends a lot of time talking to his suit, trying out features of which he is totally unaware, which is slightly reminiscent of the Greatest American Hero, which frankly did it better, with more laughs. The suit itself is annoying, in that the two eyeholes in his mask, permanent and fixed in the comics, narrow down in the movie, which serves to make his masked face more expressive, at the expense of his already limited peripheral vision. Rant break...

BTW, What's up with Spidey being played by a Brit? Are there no American actors to play American icons any more? The latest Superman is a Brit. In the Man From U.N.C.L.E., the Leo G. Carroll role was played by Hugh Grant. On TV, House, the Mentalist, the lead on Scorpion are all Brits! Now I have a great love for the Mother Country and the Mother Tongue, but we could use a few fewer mother loving Brits on the silver screen, nicht wahr?

...End of rant. The basic plot is boy meets suit, boy loses suit, boy gets suit back. On a Hollywood, inside baseball note, Gwyneth Paltrow makes a small cameo near the end of the movie. Has about five or six lines as I recall. I note this because I think she got something like fourth billing in the film, though if you blink you might miss her.

In typical Marvel fashion, there's not one but two vignettes during the credits. The first comes early on and gives a little insight into Michael Keaton's character. During the movie, we see a couple of public service type films made by Captain America. (And one really nice homage to Ferris Bueller). The last scene, at the very, very end of allllllllllllll the credits, is yet another one of these faux public service announcements on the virtues of ...patience. Droll.

The special effects surpass both of the other reboots. There are a few nice plot twists. Not a bad popcorn movie, but it wasn't exactly Spider-Man, at least not any we've seen before.

As I said, if you're not that familiar with the comics, but have seen the earlier Marvel Universe flicks, this might be right up your alley. And if you like eye candy Aunt May over old frail little old lady Aunt May, this version could be an improvement for you. My inner geek kept getting distracted by all the changes, so I'll give it 3 out of five stars.

Captain America - Civil War

Saw "Captain America - Civil War" yesterday. Don't want to do a full fledged review, as it would contain many spoilers and I wouldn't want to diminish the film's appeal if you haven't seen it yet. I saw it in 3D, which is a far cry from the 3D films of my youth, and liked it. While several people mistook me for Clark Kent, in the glasses, the theater was relatively empty (on a Thursday afternoon), so there were no squalling rugrats to detract from the experience.

If you are a fan of the comic book movie genre, I highly recommend it. It stayed pretty true to its Marvel Universe roots. Without giving away a whole lot, Aunt May was much younger and hotter than she's ever been!

I'm typically not fond of CGI fight scenes, where one CGI creature battles another, in blurry, blinding speed, you have to sit through to get to the next plot point. Civil War uses a great deal of CGI, but it is blended with the live action to keep your attention on the characters and the story line rather than the techniques.

The "Civil War" is brought about by politicians appalled at the amount of collateral damage that sometimes (often) occurs when superheroes save the world from super villains. So the UN (Yea, bureaucrats!) draws up a set of laws that will put them under UN supervision. Not all of the Avengers agree. It is a parable, perhaps, of how two or more people can see the same set of facts and draw entirely different conclusions from them. Neither side becomes "evil" in that they sign or don't sign. Captain America isn't "throwing a tantrum" because he doesn't sign. He's just guided by a different set of principles.

If you saw the movie and want to discuss it, I may drop some spoilers in the comments, so Spoiler alert! Don't read the comments if you don't want to know.

And, by the way... fire the Fed Ex guy!

Excelsior!

George Clooney Stars in 'Money Monster'

Worst Sesame Street character...ever!

Feminists are Progressively More Deranged

Remember the movie "Look Who's Talking"? It was centered around a baby in the womb which not only grabbed for Doritos, but spoke English!
I don't remember feminists having a cow when that came out in 1989. Feminists have become progressively (pun intended) more deranged since then.

#BuyDoritosAnnoyAFeminist

Bon Appétit, Mikey!

British Actor Alan Rickman Dead at 69

British actor Alan Rickman, know for deliciously evil bad guy roles in Die Hard and Quigley Down Under, comedic roles as in Galaxy Quest, an execrable Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie, and most recently the corridors of Hogwarts, has passed away at age 69, apparently of cancer.

I, for one, shall miss his incomparable sneer. Rest in peace, Mr. Rickman.

Last Minute Gift Ideas

It's a public service, I tell ya! But, just in case you've run out of ideas for thoughtful gifts for people you like, here's a small grab bag of ideas.



Books

I just finished Andy Weir's 'The Martian'. Recently released as a movie with Matt Damon. (Or Ben Affleck, or one of those interchangeable Hollywood leads.) I saw somewhere that the book was better than the movie. The book was really good. A real page turner. Must have for anyone channeling their inner geek. Note: some NSFW language

I bought Dana Loesch's book 'Hands Off My Guns', initially as an "in your face" to support Dana, through her book sales, in light of the onslaught of people who were attacking her. I expected it to be "preaching to the choir", but I was impressed with her story, the way she tells it, and the amount of new information in it. Buy this one for your favorite Second Amendment supporter.

I just started '13 Hours - The Inside Account of what Really Happened in Benghazi'. It was also recommended to me, but might be a little intense for some readers. Or your blood pressure as you consider that you know how this one turns out.

Finished Michael Connelly's latest, 'The Crossing' about a week ago. Connelly is one of my favorite authors. Always bittersweet coming to the last page.  I'm a bit of a purist, so if he's not been on your radar, consider starting at the beginning of the Harry Bosch novels with 'The Black Echo' (1992)

DVD/Blu Ray

Clint Eastwood's blockbuster 'American Sniper' bears more than one viewing. Chris Kyle is the Alvin York of our time*. This movie would have been Six Stars out of Five if it only hadn't been for that fake baby! Add this one to your collection or if you can find any of the six people in America who didn't see it first run.

A thoughtful gift on a budget is the Blu Ray of 'The Island'. Seen this one for $5 or less at Target. Thought provoking sci-fi, well acted with a little bit of edge-of-your-seat action thrown in. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson star, with some top notch supporting actors.

A DVD I gave all my kids last year was an HBO movie with Kevin Bacon called 'Taking Chance'.
Taking Chance and the Island are the two best movies you never heard of.

CDs

If you like acoustic guitar (and if you can find it) 'The Charlie Byrd Christmas Album'. Outstanding!

Still time to order and get these shipped in time for Christmas. Since I already have all these things, if you're wondering what to get me, dead president portraiture is always in season.

If you are an Amazon shopper, consider signing up for AmazonSmile. A small portion of your purchase is donated to a charity of your choice, like Wounded Warriors, at no additional cost to you.
I support Phoenix Patriot Foundation.

Update: I thought I would include one more suggestion, but for a very narrowly defined group of people. That and a disclaimer that I am not profiting in any way, shape or form from these endorsements. Michael Connelly is NOT sending me a personally autographed copy of his next book (Hint, hint.), nor will Dana Loesch start following me on Twitter (although her husband Chris does), Andy Weir will not write me into one of his next books as the blogger who saved NASA until I do something like... actually saving NASA. (Clint Eastwood and I will still go bar hopping on New Year's Eve, but that goes without saying! If we do run into Scarlett Johansson, that's just luck!)

This is the one product I do not own, but I am quite impressed with the design. If you or someone you love is a pistol shooter, but has trouble gripping the slide to charge the pistol, a company called Brass Stacker has an ambidextrous ring that mounts to the back of the slide, which would make charging the weapon much easier for someone suffering from arthritis or injury. The design is quite simple and elegant, and I was tempted to buy one even though I currently do not need it. I know some folks have purchased Beretta Bearcats in .380 for self defense simply because they lacked the hand strength to chamber the first round. Again, a very narrow subset of people, but if someone in my audience fits this category, look into it.


Merry Christmas! Don't get caught up in the commercialism. Give gifts from the heart for the joy of giving. I also accept Pay Pal.  : )



*If you don't know who Alvin York was, get a copy of Gary Cooper's Sergeant York for yourself. STAT.

Liam Neeson's Audience is Taken

After the highly hypocritical remarks that Liam 'I've got a gun in my hand and I know how to use it' Neeson made about wanting more gun control in America, I decided that I really didn't need to see anything else this guy ever did. Was never even tempted to see Taken III, although the original Taken movie was fairly decent.

Well, there wasn't much on TV last night, and it wasn't going to cost me a cent, so I watched Taken III on HBO. Spoiler alert: You'll thank me. The movie stared out extremely slow, but I took heart at the credits. Famke Janssen, a babe in her own right, was in this movie. For about five minutes. A tepid little kissy face scene and a few security video flashbacks constituted her motion in this motion picture. Her big scene was laying in Neeson's bed, supposedly with her throat slit. What a waste of talent!

Neeson, as Bryan Mills, leaves warm bagels on the table, and for some reason, instead of grabbing his ACLU card, he grabs a gun and heads out to find his ex-wife's killer. An LAPD inspector played by Forest Whitaker, sits down at the crime scene and helps himself to a bagel. Because, that's apparently what you do at a crime scene!

Whitaker and Neeson reprise the roles of Tommy lee Jones and Harrison Ford in the Fugitive, although in this one, Neeson phones it in. Literally. "I didn't kill my wife". "I don't care"

After being run off the road and miraculously not dying as his car rolled down a cliff, Mills hijacks a passing motorist at gunpoint and drives to a nearby country store where the goons who pushed him off the road have stopped for snacks. Gunfight ensues. Mills kills three guys. A fourth commits suicide, but in such a way that forensics would be hard pressed not to see it as an execution.

Neeson is taken into custody, where he escapes custody by assaulting two policemen, forcing one to drive him the wrong way on an LA freeway where several hundred thousand dollars of damage occurred. Neeson then steals the police car and the officer's cell phone. When cornered, he rams the police car into an elevator shaft in a parking garage, which explodes and probably causes another half million in damages.

Mill's daughter has been given police protection, so Neeson's crew unlawfully detains the police, handcuffing them in their cars, while he takes his daughter "to safety".

Mills tracks down Russian mob boss to his penthouse hideaway. I forget whether he kills or just incapacitates the two guards at the bottom of the elevator, but he kills the three guards at the top, several other mobsters and the Russian mob boss before he is finished. Say 8 -12 bodies.

Before his last breath, the Russian mob boss fingers Mill's ex's new husband as being behind the killing. Creepy new husband meanwhile shoots and possibly kills a couple of his friends and kidnaps Mill's daughter.

So, Mills steals a car, breaks the speed limit and drives recklessly until he can get to the airport, where he illegally crashes through a gate unto federal property and crashes his stolen vehicle into a plane that is taking off.

Let's recap: Mills has committed grand theft auto multiple times. Resisted arrest, multiple times. Could be considered a suspect in a dozen and a half deaths (but NOT his ex wife's!). Illegal carry and discharge of a firearm within city limits, hijacking a car at gunpoint. Kidnapping the guy whose car he hijacked. Have I left anything out? Probably.

So, near the end, we have this scene with Mills and the LAPD inspector who tells him it was the warm bagels that made him think Mills was innocent (of killing his ex wife). But being a gung-ho officer of the law, he had to do his duty to bring him in even though he suspected he was innocent (of killing his ex wife). So they shake hands and Bryan Mills walks away a free man.

Are you freaking kidding me??? Even if every act he committed could be justified, he broke the freaking law more times than I could count! How does gung-ho, just the facts ma'am, I don't care if you're innocent LA cop not hold him until he could investigate all those deaths and let a judge decide if he was guilty or innocent?

If after all that, you insist on seeing this movie, try to count the number of guns Mr. 'I think there are too many guns in America' Neeson handles during the movie. Try to count how many times he breaks the law for crimes other than murdering his ex wife, for which he will not be held accountable.

Frankly, I had to suspend disbelief when Famke started making moon eyes at the old codger.But, that's just me!

Roll the credits!

Independence Day is Lame

The movie, not the holiday!


ID4 came out in 1996, and even then it stretched credulity, not to believe in extra terrestrials, who had mastered intergalactic flight, but that Jeff Goldblum, without knowing anything about the aliens' computer language, could write a "virus" that would infect their computers.
Here it is, 19 years later, and IMHO, it gets worse!

Goldblum & Smith fly the infamous UFO that crashed in Roswell back in 1947 up the the mothership to upload the virus. Again, I remind you that these aliens are intelligent enough to travel between the stars, and not only are they dumb enough not to install a simple anti-virus software on their computers, they're so stupid that if a fifty year old ship flies up to meet them, they are apparently oblivious to that fact, too.

Just for comparison, suppose you're the captain of the USS Ronald Reagan, and a 50 yr. old plane with US Navy markings attempts to land upon the deck. Let's say a Grumman F8F Bearcat. Modern aircraft "squawk" an 'Identification Friend or Foe' (IFF) code. Even if this 50 year old plane was equipped with IFF, (which it wasn't), would it be the right code? After fifty years?? As Captain, what would you do? Yeah. Me, too!

Can't we imagine that any being smart enough to cross interstellar space could have figured out a way to identify their craft, and maybe even keep track of them? Or know the ship that just landed hadn't taken off  from their vessel or any sistership in 50 yrs?. Or maybe even notice the lack of any possible change or improvements over a fifty year span? Stupid aliens!

The movie's characters are likeable. The disappointments however,are richly layered for those who care to look.

Meet the Obamas!

No, really!


Parker Sawyers and Tika Sumpter are slated to play the Obamas in a movie about their first date. Review it? Kill me now!

Sawyers is British, proving once again that there are jobs that Americans simply won't do!

The Monuments Men, ISIS and Empire

Full disclosure: I am NOT on the cutting edge of cultural evolution. I do my best to keep pace with its rear echelons. Nevertheless, I finally watched The Monuments Men on Blu-Ray. Based on a true story, it's a buddy movie of sorts, set in WWII Europe. The Nazis are stealing art all over Europe, in all their occupied lands, particularly from the Jews. Every work of art, painting or statuary, gold brick or gold filling that they can lay their hands on is ending up in the homes of SS officers or being shipped by truck or train to large, makeshift warehouses, until it can be gathered at war's end to fill the planned Fuehrer Museum.

Not all art is equally valued, though. Modernist artists, like Picasso, were not deemed worthy, and many of their works were destroyed. Here we have a small band of Americans, along with one Frenchman and one Brit, tasked with trying to save as many of these irreplaceable works of art as possible.

Along the way, they discover that there exists a directive from Hitler, that if he were to be killed, all of the art was to be destroyed. Apparently, he thought that if he couldn't have it, no one could! Part of the tension in the movie is the race against the clock to save these art treasures, compounded by an invading army of Russians from the East, looting stolen art from the Germans, to take back to Russia as reparations for the damage Germany had caused to the USSR.

The movie works well for the most part. Good acting, a solid story line and a few scenes to make you laugh and tug at your heart, ending with what I consider to be a minor ripoff of Saving Private Ryan. If you haven't seen the movie, I would recommend it, not just for an interesting slice of history, but perhaps the chance not to be doomed to repeating it.

Watching the movie, seeing the Nazis destroy works of art that they did not deem worthy, made me think of ISIS with their total disregard for the historical treasures they destroy, because they find them contrary to their religious beliefs. There are a number of parallels between the Nazis and ISIS in their blatant disregard for human life, killing men, women and children for their ideological ends. This was just one more.

There was a second theme I noticed that ran through the movie (to me anyway), and that was empire. The Third Reich plundered every country they conquered, taking art, natural resources, slaves...whatever they wanted. It is the way of empire. The Soviet Union was a competing empire. As they conquer eastern Germany, they looted it of everything they could get their hands on. The satellite countries of the U.S.S.R. paid tribute of whatever they had to Mother Russia, because, that is the way of empire.

And then, you had a handful of men, commissioned by the US government to lay their hands on every piece of art they could find...and return them to their rightful owners. I believe they said that over five million pieces of art were retrieved, Rembrandts, Monets, a sculpture by Michelangelo, each worth millions by themselves, returned to the private owners whenever possible, the churches, the museums from whence they had been taken. This is NOT the way of empire.

We conquered Kuwait without taking their oil and gave the country back to the Kuwatis. We conquered Iraq, but did not loot it for either its national treasures or its oil. And apparently, conquered Europe without looting their art. As I said above. Just one more thing.

The looney Left likes to hurl the epithet "empire" at us, as did their Neoisolationist fellow traveler Ron Paul, as I detailed in "We Can't Afford the Empire".

Even under the sloppiest thinking short of downright dishonesty, it is impossible to define the United States of America as an "empire". We have many military bases around the world, much as our blue water navy, to project American power and to respond to events anywhere in the world, that might threaten our freedom. At least, that was true up until the last decade. Without the will to use that power, they may as well sit on their hands as our embassies are attacked and American citizens are tortured and killed.

Should we realistically evaluate our military bases, both foreign and domestic, so that we can maintain those and perhaps only those that are vital to our security and defense? Certainly. We have seen the disaster caused by the precipitous withdrawal of troops from Iraq and the far greater threat that was allowed to blossom in the absence of our military strength or a correspondingly strong Iraqi national defense.

Are we the "cops of the world"? Under Barack Obama we are scarcely the "Neighborhood Watch" of the world. China is building a blue water navy, Putin is running roughshod over the Ukraine, in spite of our written agreement with Britain, Russia and the Ukraine to defend their sovereignty. Our word was apparently no good under the current president. The same man who told us Iraq was stable enough for us to depart completely, who lied to us and told us "if you like your doctor, you can keep him", told the Ukraine that if you like your borders, you can keep them". Why should our allies believe anything he says? After drawing red lines and accusing the Syrian president of war crimes, Obama did nothing and the tyrant still sits in the seat of power. He brings toothless sanctions against Russia, all the while reducing sanctions against Iran because "they're not working".

Why should our enemies believe anything he says? Our military is steadily shrinking, our space program has been all but gutted. The preeminence of American power has been diluted, diminished or destroyed by this president.

To paraphrase Bill Buckley, I will not insult your intelligence by saying that you actually believe the argument you make when you say that the US is an "empire"

Happy Groundhog Day!

Now, I Really Can't Breathe!

No Hypocrisy to See Here! Move On!

American Sniper and #FakeBabyGate

There did appear to be one tiny flaw in the otherwise great movie American Sniper. It's quite minor, and I only mention it because I wasn't the only one to notice it.

First of all, a confession: TMZ on TV is one of my guilty pleasures. I very seldom venture over to their website, and I could care less about most celebrity gossip. However, there is a very dysfunctional family vibe about the people who work there, and I enjoy watching the sibling type camaraderie that goes on there. (And occasionally, I get a new candidate for the Friday Night Babe.)

So, last night, they bring up what appeared to be a "fake baby" in American Sniper. The scene is where Mrs. Kyle finishes feeding her baby, Chris picks up the baby, holds it for about twenty seconds, then lays it in its crib. For about thirty seconds, that "fourth wall" of film making was breached, and I thought about the constraints upon filmmakers when filming small children and infants. That's it. About 30 seconds. When Bradley Cooper picked up his "baby", it looked like one of those life sized dolls. But soon, the story picked up again and I forgot all about the problems with using babies in films.

In case you don't know, there are very strict child labor laws concerning small children and infants. Thanks to Obamacare, most infants can only work 20 hours a week. (I'm kidding!) Most TV and movie productions that involve small children and infants, typically cast twins when they can, so that when one kid's time on camera expires, they bring in kid #2. Because of time constraints and the fact that children do not always stop crying on cue, life like baby dolls are often used for long shots of the kids, because their stage mothers are the prop people.

Commonly, when you see a baby on TV, you see really tight close up of the baby and long shots of the kid in a crib or bassinet. Less frequently do you see a two shot of someone actually holding a squirming, kicking, sometimes crying baby.
The exception to this is childbirth scenes. The frequently used "I'm giving birth right now" scene which concludes with the rookie who just assisted a childbirth hands a somewhat slimy older infant to it's "mother", and says, "It's a boy/girl!"

As a veteran father of five, who has been present at the delivery of multiple babies, I know something about handling newborns. I was there to catch my daughter as she came into world, with sure hands,like Tom Brady handling a slightly deflated football! When it comes to handling babies, I'm your man! Having some familiarity with the scene, I generally try to guess the age of the large "newborn" with the big, perfectly shaped head, that's being handed to its "mother" on TV and movies. Fortunately for directors, newborns cry a lot, as do older babies being handed about by strange actors. This works for them.

Again, #FakeBabyGate was a very small distraction for me, because either some poor mother has a kid with a head like a Cabbage Patch doll, or they used a real doll. I personally have the solution to the problem: CGI

A computer generated baby violates no child labor laws and only cries and coos when the sound man tells it to. I'll stop trying to guess the ages of the infants smeared with goo that get handed to their fake mothers, and you'll probably save a little time, money and grief in trying to work with babies.

After my remarks about eliminating jobs for babies in Hollywood,  I believe that I am starting to channel my inner W.C. Fields, so, we'll just leave it at that!

Update: According to the clip from the Today show, Infant #1 was running a fever and infant #2 was a 'no show', so they went with an uncredited performance by a plastic doll.

American Sniper and the UnAmerican Sniping of it

This afternoon, I had the opportunity to go online and watch Glo Zell interview President Obama, or see American Sniper. Wow! It was powerful and hard hitting! Man, that President Obama sure knows how to give an interview!

Get real! I saw American Sniper and I must say it exceeded my expectations. To do any sort of a decent movie review, I'd have to include a lot of spoilers, and I don't want to do that. I want you to see this movie and experience it as unbiased as possible the first time.

I knew the basic story before I went to see it, but the movie is gripping enough that even when you know how it will end, it keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Much of the film is a character study of how Chris Kyle became the man he was, how he dealt with hardships, and relationships, and sorrow and loss. Also his struggle with the morality of taking a human life, even when it will save the lives of others. And what this does to a man's soul as he looks upon evil and does battle with it day after day. The film also deals with his wife, struggling to maintain her life and family in spite of a husband who deploys for months on end, and may not ever come home.

Some of it is a gritty, sometimes brutal, but realistic telling of what our soldiers endured in the Middle East and what their families endured at home. It is rated "R". It is definitely not a movie for children. The violence is at times quite graphic. The language is the language of fighting men, more fitting for the locker room than the parlor. I did not find it distracting. Some might.

The acting is top notch. Bradley Cooper could be a ringer for Kyle. The director, Clint Eastwood, knows how to get the maximum performance from his actors and how to capture that on film. When the credits rolled, I sat in my seat for a while, wiping away a few tears. It is a moving story about a real, down to earth guy. Not a super hero or super spy, but a real American hero.

As I sat there, I tried to picture how anyone could not be moved by this movie, even Leftist tubs of lard like Michael Moore. One thing that occurred to me, was that there was a lot of truth in this movie. Being confronted with truth may be so foreign to some that they are uncomfortable in its presence.

It was in no way a "propaganda" film. What did they propagandize? "Join the SEALS, go through brutal training, get shot at or blown up, and if you do make it home you ay be messed up psychologically, missing a few limbs and have you wife and kids leave you"? Great! Sign me up!

There is one message that Chris Kyle carried, and that was it was important for him to protect his country. That his country was worth defending and even worth dying for. That may have sent Leftist blowhards like Moore, if he ever even saw the film, into a catatonic state. (No, not California!)

Chris Kyle is the Alvin York of our time. If you are of age, you should see this movie. It is a well crafted piece of cinema, and leaving the theater, I was hard pressed to remember any movie I had ever seen that was better than this one or had greater emotional impact.

Still haven't.

If you faint at the sight of blood, don't see it. If violent movies give you bad dreams, don't see it. Wait 'til it comes on TV and they'll edit out some of the language and gorier parts. The rest of you, go to the theater and see it at least once. Soon. In addition to seeing a fine, well crafted movie based on the true story of an American hero, every dollar that it makes at the box office is a big...raspberry (kept it PG-13, didn't I?) to the leftist tools who are trying to discourage people from seeing it.

Vote with your wallets, America, for movies about true American heroes, and maybe Hollywood will finally take a hint about what the American public is longing to see.

Five stars out of five.

"Noah...Build Me an Ark"

You've probably seen the trailers for the new Russell Crowe movie "Noah". I really don't think I'll go see it, at least, not first run. Not because of Russell Crowe. He's a very fine actor and probably does the role credit. But, every time I see the movie referenced, I flash back to the seventies.

The year was 1976. There was a Christian documentary in the theaters: In Search of Noah's Ark (you can see the whole thing at the link, if you like!) They went into great detail about computer models of the seaworthiness of the ark, satellite photos of what might be the ark on what might be Mt. Ararat.

I'd seen it with a few friends and as we were leaving, one of them was most enthusiastic about what we'd seen and what it might mean to the world at large: proof that the Bible was true. I hated to burst his bubble, but I told him it wouldn't make any difference. Even if it could be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Noah existed and the ark was real and even the flood was real (some claim it was localized and not a worldwide flood), and they brought the ark down from the mountain as concrete, verifiable truth, people would still not believe.

Even if Noah's existence could be verified, there would be those who would write him off as some sort of New Age guru or astrologer, or Survivalist*, who somehow sussed out the coming flood, and the Judeo-Christian tradition just incorporated the Noah legend into their "mythology".

So, I would be pleasantly surprised if Russell Crowe's Noah closely adhered to the Biblical one (operative word being "surprised"), but Hollywood doesn't have the greatest track record on Biblical epics. So, if any of you happen to see it, drop me a note. Let me know what you think. (And if Noah's dialogue with God went any better than it did with Bill Cosby!)




*Dude! It was 1976! I didn't use that word!

Cross posted at LCR, Political Clown Parade