Predictions for 2018

I haven't done this in a while, since 2013 in fact. Continuing to predict what would befall us under the reign of our last Temp Agency President was just too depressing. Fear not! Predictions have boldly returned!

In 2018 I predict:

* Al Franken will resign on January 2nd. (Actually, this is my least reliable prediction, since it's based on the word of a liberal Democrat!)

* The economy will continue to boom. There will be at least three new all time highs for the Dow in the first quarter, and possibly a record number of all time highs for a calendar year.

* Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi will alternately try to tell you that the economy is Armageddon or that Trump wasn't responsible for its success, it was all Obama!

* People will start to see more take home pay in February. Schumer and Pelosi will cite mass hallucinations.

* Kim Jong-un will continue to fire missiles periodically, but not actually target anyone or anything that would require a military response.

* Good news! Super Bowl ads will be more affordable this year!

* Bad news: Fewer people will be watching

* Last place Cleveland Browns will receive a first round draft choice in the NFL

* Highly rated college quarterbacks may seek asylum in Venezuela.

* The Russian Collusion investigation will finally fizzle out without any indictments concerning the campaign, since the only definite connection they can find between "Russia" and "Trump" is that both are in the dictionary. Merriam Webster is expected to cop a plea.

* At least one section of The Wall will be built

* In the midterm elections, Democrats have more vulnerable seats than Republicans. Historically, the party out of power picks up seats in the midterms. They will retain many, but four to seven months of higher pay and a continually improving economy will have voters voting their pocketbooks and doom any dream of Democrats regaining a majority in the House. Dems will lose seats despite celebrities, big money, out-of-state infusions of cash.

* That viral video of an apparently sick and dying polar bear will continue to be circulated as "evidence" of global warming. It is not.

* Al Gore will adopt a polar bear

* The polar bear will sue for emancipation.

* The Justice Department will reopen an investigation into Hillary Clinton's various and sundry crimes. Even with a preponderance of unshredded evidence and still breathing witnesses, the political downside will be such as to cause the investigation to lapse without prosecution. (BTW, nothing would make me happier than to be proven wrong here.)

* In an attempt to regain relevance, alleged comedienne Kathy Griffin will announce that she has evidence of crimes committed by Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation.

* Kathy Griffin's severed head will be discovered in Fort Marcy Park.  Next to her suicide note.

* The MSM will continue to ignore the booming economy, the military victories in Iraq and Syria, and continue to focus on Trump's possible belief in UFOs**, Sarah Sanders' pie making abilities and whether or not Jim Acosta gets to asks his nattering questions on live TV.

* Donald Trump will Tweet stuff that makes people mad. Sad!

And finally,

* Liberal trolls will still be clueless.



Please feel free to disagree or offer predictions of your own in the comments. We'll check back next December to tally the scorecard and remind you all just how right I was!

Happy New Year!



**Based solely on reports of expenditures authorized by Harry Reid during the Obama administration. No, seriously!

Predictions for 2014

Those of you waiting with bated breath for someone to make predictions about the coming year are in luck. Not about the coming year, of course, that will still suck or get suckier.

++ Obama's signature accomplishment, Obamacare, will continue to be his bane in 2014. The administration will lose at least one court case challenging the President's authority to arbitrarily make changes in the law.

++ Millions more will be cancelled from their current insurance plans than sign up at the federal exchanges.

++ Israel will stage an attack, overt or covert, on Iranian nuclear facilities

++ Edward Snowden will not be offered amnesty by the US...unless he dons a serape and enters the US from the south, across the Rio Grande.

++ Amnesty for illegals (by another name) will be an election year topic. Anything to change the conversation from Obamacare

++ In January, thousands of conversations in doctors' offices will take place, in which the second thing said will be either: "What do you mean I don't have insurance?" or "How high did you say my deductible is??"

++ Also in January, Obama will once again arbitrarily (and illegally) suspend at least one more provision of the "passed by Congress, law of the land, Supreme Court approved, signed by the President" Unaffordable Healthcare Act

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of Tofu hot dogs. Bun length.

++ In February, Debbie Wassermann Schultz will still be telling people that the only problem with Obamacare is the website.

++ The twerk will leave as quickly as it came

++ "If you like your _____, you can keep it" will be a cheap and easy laugh line all throughout 2014

++ The 29 hour work week will become the de facto standard for the majority of new hires in 2014

++ The New York Times will come out with an editorial explaining that Obama was not responsible for Obamacare, rather it was an obscure video by Michael Moore

++ Underestimating the nation's anger over Obamacare and the lies told to sell it, Democrats will not only not retake the House, but will narrowly lose the Senate. 52-48

++ There will be a terrorist attack on the Russian Winter Olympics severe enough to make several countries withdraw from the games.

++ Gun control advocates will make a major push in 2014. Look for it to become a major campaign topic as well, as Democrats running from the President and Obamacare try to further their careers on the backs of dead children.

++ The sale of long guns in California will slow for the first time during the Obama administration, as new gun registration laws take effect. (After having made record sales in December)

++ Obama will confess in an interview with Barbara Walters, that his interest in watching the series "Breaking Bad" is to help him explore employment opportunities in 2017

++ Interest rates will begin creeping up, negating any real growth in the economy.

++ Because of the state of the economy, Michelle will limit her taxpayer expensed vacations to no more than six. Or eight. No more than twelve!

++ China will continue expansion of its blue water navy and will continue their quest for territorial expansion

++ Fukushima will market it's own brand of glow-in-the-dark sushi*

++ More witnesses to the Benghazi attacks will come forward to testify, sparking new Congressional hearings**

++ Detroit falls from first to second largest city in the country to declare bankruptcy. Detroit mayor vows not to give up fight. Stockton, CA changes the banners for their Asparagus Festival to "We're Number Three!"

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of smart phones with a macro lens to take ultra close ups. It will be called the "Big Macro Daddy"

++ Eric Holder will indict Will Ferrell for ostentatious osculation and suspicion of being a thespian. ***

++ Obama will play another 40-50 rounds of golf (No. Seriously.)

++ Joe Biden will say something really stupid. (C'mon! That's a "gimme"!)

++ Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine (with the motor left running to keep the car comfortable), to make a speech on how much we need to cutback our lifestyle to save the planet.

++ If one more "selfie" of Barry and some blonde babe shows up on the Internet, Michelle gets half the House (and a third of the Senate)

and finally...

++ Liberal trolls will still be clueless.

That's it for now! If you think this is easy, leave your own predictions in the comments and we'll check back here next year to see who did better? I double dog dare you! Heh.



*Just to see if you're paying attention!

**Really hadn't thought much about Benghazi in these predictions, but a clueless Internet troll seemed to expect at least one. This one's for you, Ema!

***This will be dismissed for lack of evidence.

Cross posted at LCR