Predictions for 2018

I haven't done this in a while, since 2013 in fact. Continuing to predict what would befall us under the reign of our last Temp Agency President was just too depressing. Fear not! Predictions have boldly returned!

In 2018 I predict:

* Al Franken will resign on January 2nd. (Actually, this is my least reliable prediction, since it's based on the word of a liberal Democrat!)

* The economy will continue to boom. There will be at least three new all time highs for the Dow in the first quarter, and possibly a record number of all time highs for a calendar year.

* Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi will alternately try to tell you that the economy is Armageddon or that Trump wasn't responsible for its success, it was all Obama!

* People will start to see more take home pay in February. Schumer and Pelosi will cite mass hallucinations.

* Kim Jong-un will continue to fire missiles periodically, but not actually target anyone or anything that would require a military response.

* Good news! Super Bowl ads will be more affordable this year!

* Bad news: Fewer people will be watching

* Last place Cleveland Browns will receive a first round draft choice in the NFL

* Highly rated college quarterbacks may seek asylum in Venezuela.

* The Russian Collusion investigation will finally fizzle out without any indictments concerning the campaign, since the only definite connection they can find between "Russia" and "Trump" is that both are in the dictionary. Merriam Webster is expected to cop a plea.

* At least one section of The Wall will be built

* In the midterm elections, Democrats have more vulnerable seats than Republicans. Historically, the party out of power picks up seats in the midterms. They will retain many, but four to seven months of higher pay and a continually improving economy will have voters voting their pocketbooks and doom any dream of Democrats regaining a majority in the House. Dems will lose seats despite celebrities, big money, out-of-state infusions of cash.

* That viral video of an apparently sick and dying polar bear will continue to be circulated as "evidence" of global warming. It is not.

* Al Gore will adopt a polar bear

* The polar bear will sue for emancipation.

* The Justice Department will reopen an investigation into Hillary Clinton's various and sundry crimes. Even with a preponderance of unshredded evidence and still breathing witnesses, the political downside will be such as to cause the investigation to lapse without prosecution. (BTW, nothing would make me happier than to be proven wrong here.)

* In an attempt to regain relevance, alleged comedienne Kathy Griffin will announce that she has evidence of crimes committed by Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation.

* Kathy Griffin's severed head will be discovered in Fort Marcy Park.  Next to her suicide note.

* The MSM will continue to ignore the booming economy, the military victories in Iraq and Syria, and continue to focus on Trump's possible belief in UFOs**, Sarah Sanders' pie making abilities and whether or not Jim Acosta gets to asks his nattering questions on live TV.

* Donald Trump will Tweet stuff that makes people mad. Sad!

And finally,

* Liberal trolls will still be clueless.



Please feel free to disagree or offer predictions of your own in the comments. We'll check back next December to tally the scorecard and remind you all just how right I was!

Happy New Year!



**Based solely on reports of expenditures authorized by Harry Reid during the Obama administration. No, seriously!

Predictions for 2014 - The Year in Review

Last December, I made my annual predictions for 2014. Aside from the purely humorous (and mildly outrageous) ones, think I did pretty well. I missed the Israeli attack on Iran's nuclear program (unless it was so covert no one heard about it). I predicted the Dems would lose the Senate, but I underestimated the margin, and the Winter Olympics survived.

I still have a few days to change my mind, but I don't think I'm doing predictions for 2015. Too depressing. The list as it appeared Dec. 31, 2013:


Those of you waiting with bated breath for someone to make predictions about the coming year are in luck. Not about the coming year, of course, that will still suck or get suckier.

++ Obama's signature accomplishment, Obamacare, will continue to be his bane in 2014. The administration will lose at least one court case challenging the President's authority to arbitrarily make changes in the law.

++ Millions more will be cancelled from their current insurance plans than sign up at the federal exchanges.

++ Israel will stage an attack, overt or covert, on Iranian nuclear facilities

++ Edward Snowden will not be offered amnesty by the US...unless he dons a serape and enters the US from the south, across the Rio Grande.

++ Amnesty for illegals (by another name) will be an election year topic. Anything to change the conversation from Obamacare

++ In January, thousands of conversations in doctors' offices will take place, in which the second thing said will be either: "What do you mean I don't have insurance?" or "How high did you say my deductible is??"

++ Also in January, Obama will once again arbitrarily (and illegally) suspend at least one more provision of the "passed by Congress, law of the land, Supreme Court approved, signed by the President" Unaffordable Healthcare Act

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of Tofu hot dogs. Bun length.

++ In February, Debbie Wassermann Schultz will still be telling people that the only problem with Obamacare is the website.

++ The twerk will leave as quickly as it came

++ "If you like your _____, you can keep it" will be a cheap and easy laugh line all throughout 2014

++ The 29 hour work week will become the de facto standard for the majority of new hires in 2014

++ The New York Times will come out with an editorial explaining that Obama was not responsible for Obamacare, rather it was an obscure video by Michael Moore

++ Underestimating the nation's anger over Obamacare and the lies told to sell it, Democrats will not only not retake the House, but will narrowly lose the Senate. 52-48

++ There will be a terrorist attack on the Russian Winter Olympics severe enough to make several countries withdraw from the games.

++ Gun control advocates will make a major push in 2014. Look for it to become a major campaign topic as well, as Democrats running from the President and Obamacare try to further their careers on the backs of dead children.

++ The sale of long guns in California will slow for the first time during the Obama administration, as new gun registration laws take effect. (After having made record sales in December)

++ Obama will confess in an interview with Barbara Walters, that his interest in watching the series "Breaking Bad" is to help him explore employment opportunities in 2017

++ Interest rates will begin creeping up, negating any real growth in the economy.

++ Because of the state of the economy, Michelle will limit her taxpayer expensed vacations to no more than six. Or eight. No more than twelve!

++ China will continue expansion of its blue water navy and will continue their quest for territorial expansion

++ Fukushima will market it's own brand of glow-in-the-dark sushi*

++ More witnesses to the Benghazi attacks will come forward to testify, sparking new Congressional hearings**

++ Detroit falls from first to second largest city in the country to declare bankruptcy. Detroit mayor vows not to give up fight. Stockton, CA changes the banners for their Asparagus Festival to "We're Number Three!"

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of smart phones with a macro lens to take ultra close ups. It will be called the "Big Macro Daddy"

++ Eric Holder will indict Will Ferrell for ostentatious osculation and suspicion of being a thespian. ***

++ Obama will play another 40-50 rounds of golf (No. Seriously.)

++ Joe Biden will say something really stupid. (C'mon! That's a "gimme"!)

++ Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine (with the motor left running to keep the car comfortable), to make a speech on how much we need to cutback our lifestyle to save the planet.

++ If one more "selfie" of Barry and some blonde babe shows up on the Internet, Michelle gets half the House (and a third of the Senate)

and finally...

++ Liberal trolls will still be clueless.

That's it for now! If you think this is easy, leave your own predictions in the comments and we'll check back here next year to see who did better? I double dog dare you! Heh.



*Just to see if you're paying attention!

**Really hadn't thought much about Benghazi in these predictions, but a clueless Internet troll seemed to expect at least one. This one's for you, Ema!

***This will be dismissed for lack of evidence.

Predictions for 2014

Those of you waiting with bated breath for someone to make predictions about the coming year are in luck. Not about the coming year, of course, that will still suck or get suckier.

++ Obama's signature accomplishment, Obamacare, will continue to be his bane in 2014. The administration will lose at least one court case challenging the President's authority to arbitrarily make changes in the law.

++ Millions more will be cancelled from their current insurance plans than sign up at the federal exchanges.

++ Israel will stage an attack, overt or covert, on Iranian nuclear facilities

++ Edward Snowden will not be offered amnesty by the US...unless he dons a serape and enters the US from the south, across the Rio Grande.

++ Amnesty for illegals (by another name) will be an election year topic. Anything to change the conversation from Obamacare

++ In January, thousands of conversations in doctors' offices will take place, in which the second thing said will be either: "What do you mean I don't have insurance?" or "How high did you say my deductible is??"

++ Also in January, Obama will once again arbitrarily (and illegally) suspend at least one more provision of the "passed by Congress, law of the land, Supreme Court approved, signed by the President" Unaffordable Healthcare Act

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of Tofu hot dogs. Bun length.

++ In February, Debbie Wassermann Schultz will still be telling people that the only problem with Obamacare is the website.

++ The twerk will leave as quickly as it came

++ "If you like your _____, you can keep it" will be a cheap and easy laugh line all throughout 2014

++ The 29 hour work week will become the de facto standard for the majority of new hires in 2014

++ The New York Times will come out with an editorial explaining that Obama was not responsible for Obamacare, rather it was an obscure video by Michael Moore

++ Underestimating the nation's anger over Obamacare and the lies told to sell it, Democrats will not only not retake the House, but will narrowly lose the Senate. 52-48

++ There will be a terrorist attack on the Russian Winter Olympics severe enough to make several countries withdraw from the games.

++ Gun control advocates will make a major push in 2014. Look for it to become a major campaign topic as well, as Democrats running from the President and Obamacare try to further their careers on the backs of dead children.

++ The sale of long guns in California will slow for the first time during the Obama administration, as new gun registration laws take effect. (After having made record sales in December)

++ Obama will confess in an interview with Barbara Walters, that his interest in watching the series "Breaking Bad" is to help him explore employment opportunities in 2017

++ Interest rates will begin creeping up, negating any real growth in the economy.

++ Because of the state of the economy, Michelle will limit her taxpayer expensed vacations to no more than six. Or eight. No more than twelve!

++ China will continue expansion of its blue water navy and will continue their quest for territorial expansion

++ Fukushima will market it's own brand of glow-in-the-dark sushi*

++ More witnesses to the Benghazi attacks will come forward to testify, sparking new Congressional hearings**

++ Detroit falls from first to second largest city in the country to declare bankruptcy. Detroit mayor vows not to give up fight. Stockton, CA changes the banners for their Asparagus Festival to "We're Number Three!"

++ Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner will market a line of smart phones with a macro lens to take ultra close ups. It will be called the "Big Macro Daddy"

++ Eric Holder will indict Will Ferrell for ostentatious osculation and suspicion of being a thespian. ***

++ Obama will play another 40-50 rounds of golf (No. Seriously.)

++ Joe Biden will say something really stupid. (C'mon! That's a "gimme"!)

++ Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine (with the motor left running to keep the car comfortable), to make a speech on how much we need to cutback our lifestyle to save the planet.

++ If one more "selfie" of Barry and some blonde babe shows up on the Internet, Michelle gets half the House (and a third of the Senate)

and finally...

++ Liberal trolls will still be clueless.

That's it for now! If you think this is easy, leave your own predictions in the comments and we'll check back here next year to see who did better? I double dog dare you! Heh.



*Just to see if you're paying attention!

**Really hadn't thought much about Benghazi in these predictions, but a clueless Internet troll seemed to expect at least one. This one's for you, Ema!

***This will be dismissed for lack of evidence.

Cross posted at LCR

My Predictions for 2012

According to my crystal ball...oh, wait! We had to hock all the good crystal because of the Obama economy! So, I'll just have to "wing it" this year!

The biggest question of all is the Presidential race, so, without further adieu, I tell you:

Reply hazy, try again

I did not crib that answer from anything round and black with the number eight on it. Honest! This one is too early to call until there's at least a glimmer of who the Republican nominee will be. Conventional wisdom says "Romney", but they've been wrong before.

Will Republicans keep the House? Will they take the Senate?

Ask again later

Again, I believe this will also be dependent on who is at the top of the ticket, so, I'll get back to you on that as well.

Look for a resurgence of the Occupy movement as soon as the weather gets warmer this spring, and Obamavilles pop up once again. Expect Democrats to try to distance themselves from the movement publicly, while still soliciting their support.

Ron Paul will take a shellacking in the primaries. Lesser candidates such as Jon Huntsman (actually had to stop to try to remember his name there!) will cut their losses early.

Will Ron Paul go third party? I'm going to stick my neck out here and say yes. He is not running for re-election in his district, so he is all in. This is his "last hurrah". Even though Paul should have no delusions of winning, some of his followers do and will drink the Kool-Aid® up until November.

Reports of growing sectarian violence and civilian deaths in Iraq will have many questioning Obama's judgment, placing politics above the advice of his generals.

If Iran is able to restrict our oil supply and causes shortages and price hikes here, by blocking the Strait of Hormuz, Obama will not be re-elected, having been seen as the head of a party that blocked drilling, exploration and pipelines.

If Iran acquires and detonates a nuclear device, Obama will not be re-elected, having been seen as antagonistic to Israel, when cooperation with Israel might have avoided such a thing.

On the lighter side,

Green Bay will win the Super Bowl. The Indianapolis Colts will use their first round draft choice on a quarterback.

Miley Cyrus will continue her headlong rush to the gutter, doing her best Lindsay Lohan impression. Robert Downey, Jr., on the other hand, will remain clean, and prosper with his newly found successes.

"The Hobbit" will make tons of cash, with great reviews. "The Dark Knight Rises" will meet and surpass expectation. "The Avengers" will not stink.

Obama will play golf. Perhaps less than this year. Obama is already in the eighties (number of rounds played in office, not his score), but he may have to take time off from his busy golf game for some fund raising and campaigning.

Joe Biden will say something really stupid. (C'mon! That's a "gimme"!)

Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine, to speak about how much we need to change our lifestyle, or at least to buy carbon credits from him. Bachelor Al will be seen stepping out more with his lady friend while the press says, "Tipper, who?"

And, last but not least, for the third year running, liberal trolls will still be clueless.

That's it for now! If you think this is easy, leave your predictions in the comments and we'll check back here next year to see who did better? I double dog dare you! Heh.

2011 Prediction Score Card: 70%+

A wise man once said, "Making predictions is always a bit of risky business." Oh, wait! That was me last year, making my "Predictions for 2011"

Looking back, it was a mixed bag. The most glaringly obvious miss to me was this:

Hillary will undoubtedly resign as Sec State in 2011.

If Hillary is going to run, her timetable is different than I expected. Perhaps the wikileaks revelations were too much to overcome. (-1)

The new Republican majority in the House allows Obama to blame all his failures on Republican "obstructionism", which he will (those he's still not blaming on Bush, anyway!). He will use his veto pen repeatedly.

This was a wash. The president did blame Republican obstructionism, even for bills that weren't written yet, but to my knowledge, he hasn't had to veto anything due in large part to Harry Reid still running the Senate. (Net 0)

Look for some kind of rule reform in caucus states like Iowa to prevent lopsided victories such as Obama's in 2008.

To my knowledge it hasn't happened (but should) (-1)

I don't foresee an aggressive rollback of the Obama agenda, which will, nonetheless, anger the right and left respectively, as both too little and too much.

Other than some success (to the nation's detriment) of Obamacare, this was pretty much spot on. (+1)

Let's see if Obama can make it from New Year's Day to the end of February without another vacation. Smart money says "No".

From WhiteHouse.gov: Hawaii Vacation ARRIVAL ESTIMATE: Friday, December 23 (2010)at 6:25PM HST

The trip lasted fourteen days, so...technically, Obama started the year on vacation New Year's day for five days. (+1)

The Tea Party will hold another big rally in Washington in late Spring.

Washington had one in April, I'd call that mid to late Spring. I'm going with a win on this one. (+1)

Obama will be conspicuously absent from Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day.

I was happy to be wrong on this one. The C-in-C should be at Arlington on Memorial Day. (-1)

Any attempt for Republicans to reform Social Security will be characterized both by Democrats and their media arm, the MSM, as "Republicans want to starve grandma".

Or push her wheelchair off a cliff. Remember this one?

I think that counts as plus one. (+1)

Look for the class envy card to be played a lot in 2011.

Hello? Occupy Wall Street anyone? In addition to the administrations many efforts at class warfare, too numerous to list here, their unwashed fellow travelers (who the administration embraced) bleating about a mythical 1% , fulfilled this predictions in spades. (+1)

Look for fewer press conferences with subsequently fewer opportunities for former presidents to outshine him. (Jimmy Carter will be so upset at the lost opportunity, he will write another book bashing Israel.)

Another wash. Barry managed to hold twenty press conferences without requiring an ex-president at his side, but Jimmy managed to contain his vitriol to press releases and interviews. (Net 0)

Look for Air Force One to be spotted in countries all around the world. At least once or twice, it will be for an official presidential visit.

Dan Rather will finally find a copy of Barry Sotero's "birth certificate" stuck between two pages of GWB's Texas Air National Guard fitness reports.

The Rather one was a joke. The first was true, it was the president who was the joke. (+1)

The Final Four:

Obama will play golf. (frequently)

Joe Biden will say something really stupid.

Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine, to speak about how much we need to change our lifestyle, or at least to buy carbon credits from him.

And, last but not least, liberal trolls will still be clueless.

If Charlie Sheen hadn't already appropriated "winning", it would apply to my final four! (+4)

So, we take the five I missed, add them to the twelve I got right, for an 70.58% accuracy on my predictions! Will I do as well this year? Time will tell!

My Predictions for 2011

Making predictions is always a bit of risky business.
But, someone asked me recently for my predictions for 2011, and though my crystal ball is still a bit hazy, there are the things I have a good gut feeling about:

The new Republican majority in the House allows Obama to blame all his failures on Republican "obstructionism", which he will (those he's still not blaming on Bush, anyway!). He will use his veto pen repeatedly.

Hillary Clinton will, on the surface, remain aloof from petty, partisan politics in 2011, while people in her "camp" take potshots at and actively seek to undermine Obama between now and the 2012 primaries. Look for some kind of rule reform in caucus states like Iowa to prevent lopsided victories such as Obama's in 2008. Irony alert if they opt for more stringent credentials check (which they strongly oppose at the voting booth).

Hillary will undoubtedly resign as Sec State in 2011.

I don't foresee an aggressive rollback of the Obama agenda, which will, nonetheless, anger the right and left respectively, as both too little and too much.

Let's see if Obama can make it from New Year's Day to the end of February without another vacation. Smart money says "No".

The Tea Party will hold another big rally in Washington in late Spring. This will be a reaction in part to the reluctance of Congress to send much of the Obama agenda to the ash heap of history.

Obama will be conspicuously absent from Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day. (Again.)

Any attempt for Republicans to roll back Federal control of school lunches will be characterized both by Democrats and their media arm, the MSM, as "Republicans want to starve children".

Any attempt for Republicans to reform Social Security will be characterized both by Democrats and their media arm, the MSM, as "Republicans want to starve grandma".

Any attempt for Republicans to permanently keep everyone's tax rates right where they are will be characterized as "Republicans want to enact a reckless millionaire tax bailout". (And that's just Mooove On dot org!)

Look for the class envy card to be played a lot in 2011.

Look for Obama to come up with a gift as thoughtful as his last, for when the British Ambassador comes calling again.
(I hear he's commissioned a "Winston Churchill Chia pet"!)

Look for fewer press conferences with subsequently fewer opportunities for former presidents to outshine him. (Jimmy Carter will be so upset at the lost opportunity, he will write another book bashing Israel.)

Look for Air Force One to be spotted in countries all around the world. At least once or twice, it will be for an official presidential visit.

Dan Rather will finally find a copy of Barry Sotero's "birth certificate" stuck between two pages of GWB's Texas Air National Guard fitness reports.



And finally, predictions that came true in 2010 will be repeated in 2011:

Obama will play golf. (frequently)

Joe Biden will say something really stupid.

Al Gore will fly in a private jet, met by a limousine, to speak about how much we need to change our lifestyle, or at least to buy carbon credits from him.

And, last but not least, liberal trolls will still be clueless.