Pilot Whale Meat Poses Health Hazard

Pilot whale meat poses health hazard...

...I never did trust their sushi, either! Wait. "Pilot whales"? Nevermind!

Knitted Jumpers and Legwear Help Keep Elephants Warm

Here's a present these elephants will never forget.As the nights grow cold in the Indian sanctuary where the rescued animals now live, they can slip into these massive jumpers that have been specially knitted for them. In fact, with their outsize red legwear, it almost looks as if they are wearing pajamas.

Ladies in the village near the Wildlife SOS Elephant Conservation and Care Center in Mathura began knitting and crocheting the mammoth pajamas last year. Their handiwork, which took months to complete, was in response to an appeal from staff at the center, where temperatures at night dip close to freezing point – too cold even for an elephant’s thick hide.

Females Laxmi, Phoolkali and Suzy were the first of the center’s 20 elephants to get to model their new nightwear...

Read more here.

Modern Watch Found in Ancient Tomb?

This story is from 2008: Anachronous discovery: Swiss watch in ancient tomb

Chinese archaeologists have found a tiny Swiss watch in a tomb dating back to the Ming dynasty, which they believed has been intact for four centuries.
The watch was discovered by scientists making a documentary, reports ananova.com website.

The out-of-time piece of jewelry was pressed into the soil covering one of the coffins.

The watch is stopped at 10:06, and there is the word “Swiss” on its back.

Work at the archaeological site has been suspended and experts from Beijing have been called in to help solve this mystery...

That's nothing! When the tomb of Alexander the Great was opened, they found a sundial tied to his wrist with strips of cloth.

Obviously, Alexander's Rag Timeband!

(Points for whomever saw that one coming!)

Originally published 5/29/10

Adventures in NSFW Marketing

I was strolling through my local Orchard Supply Hardware the other day, as I passed this display:


If you look at it from a bit of an angle, as I did in passing, the bottom of the "L" in FLICKER seems to blend in with the bottom of the "I". Closure takes over.

A suggestion? Use lower case. Problem solved!

When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best...

Ever see one of these? One of my neighbors had this nifty trailer hitch cover. At least, I'm assuming that's what it is, rather than an improvised urban car alarm...

Bert, the 'NCIS' Farting Hippo gets CBS Sued

ISIS is running amok in the Middle East and threatening to come here, our southern border is so porous that literally anyone could cross unimpeded, even said agents of ISIS, Americans with US passports are fighting with ISIS and could return virtually unnoticed to wreak havoc in the civilized world and some poor schlub who makes puppets is suing CBS over their use of a farting hippopotamus?

Yeah, in the great scheme of things, 'Bert the farting hippo' is probably 43,798th in things you should be worrying about, but then, if you're the puppet guy, this is your bread and butter. This is your livelihood. For him, Bert is undoubtedly in his Top Ten. It's a variation of "whose ox is being gored". (Or if you are al jazeera, "Gored".)

With Iran on the brink of nuclear weapons, Islamic jihadists on the march, illegal immigrants pouring across our border, the anniversary of 9/11 three days away and a virtually empty chair at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I thought it might be a nice reminder that, in all its strangeness, life goes on.

Glad I could 'clear the air' about that!

Never Bring a Tattoo to a Gunfight

File under "News of the Weird": a man in Maine who was running around in the cold, shirtless, probably should not be running around shirtless.


Having a life sized gun tattoo on your body approximately where a gun might be tucked in your waistband, it might not be a good idea to take your shirt off before you chase people off your property. Unless you're an idiot.

Maine man Michael Smith woke up to police with assault rifles drawn on his front lawn Tuesday morning after authorities believed he had a flashed a gun during an argument.

A shirtless Smith had angrily shooed a tree removal company off of his property — spooking the landscapers with they thought was a handgun tucked in his pants.

When the police yell, "Drop the gun!", and you can't comply, you'd better hope your bulletproof vest will stop the bullets of any trigger happy cops. No, wait! You can't! Because, like a dumbass, you're going around outside in the Maine winter with your shirt off!

Good plan, dumbass! If you want to impress someone with a gun, get a gun you can actually use on bad guys if you need to, or drop if instructed to by the good guys. Bringing a tattoo to a gunfight is likely to get you shot.

Peters and Weiners and Bare, Oh, My!

From the "You can't make this stuff up" department, an Australian politician named "Peter" has had to resign after sexting a picture of his "down under" in a glass of red wine.

We may have found the Australian version of Anthony Weiner. Peter Dowling, a member of the Queensland parliament in Australia, ended up resigning in disgrace this week after he got caught in a sexting scandal of his own. But it wasn’t just that detail that got him in trouble, it was also his misuse of government travel funds with the woman he was having the affair with, and the fact that in one of the sexts he had his penis in a glass of red wine.

Dowling, who, by the way, used to chair the Ethics committee, was caught after his mistress, Fiona Simpson, sent a letter to the parliament detailing exactly what kind of scandalous activity he was up to.

(Emphasis mine)

Perhaps, he should have gone with a nice Chardonnay???

Cross posted at LCR.

Russian Bride Stabs Groom to Death at Wedding Reception

And you thought things went wrong at your wedding!

A Russian wedding party ended in disaster when the bride stabbed the groom after a drunken fight...

..."After the official wedding and traditional toasts with alcoholic beverages on the evening of Feb. 17, the newlyweds began to quarrel," investigators said in a statement. "The young woman stabbed her husband in the heart area during the quarrel, and the young man died on the spot."

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "Til Death do us part", doesn't it?

Headline du jour

Bombshell: President Obama's Gay Transgender Prostitute Nanny

Still lots of "firsts" for President Obama it would seem.
Remember: The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world".

Yikes!

Hydrant Squirrel

The initial question was "Sleeping or dead?"



Like the proverbial post turtle, after an hour it was evident he didn't get there by himself!

LEGO Star Wars Advent Calendar

This next story isn't so much about the commercialization of Christmas as it is the Weirdification of Christmas.



Amazon.com (good people!) is offering the LEGO Star Wars Advent Calendar for 2011. And though I have often heard of LEGO being associated with Star Wars, I think this is the first time I've ever heard Star Wars and LEGO associated with an Advent calendar.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with "Advent calendars", traditionally, they have been calendars with little "windows", one to be opened every day counting down to Christmas. According to wiki:

In many of these calendars, each window opens to reveal an image, a poem, or a portion of a story such as the story of the Nativity of Jesus. More elaborate Advent calendars have a small gift concealed in each window, such as a toy or a chocolate item.

I had only heard of them in a religious context, counting down the days until the celebration of Jesus' birth, Advent being the "coming of Christ into the world". And nothing says "Jesus is coming" like LEGO Star Wars toys, I guess.

If this floats your boat, you can find it here...although if you've waited this long, you probably want to wait for the 2012 model.

When Cupcakes are Outlawed, only Outlaws Will Have Cupcakes!

Mrs. C went for the "batter-y" joke. Being pelted with pastry is no laughing matter! (Well, maybe just a little!)

In the heat of a domestic dispute, a Chicago woman pelted her husband with cupcakes before police arrived to arrest her Saturday night, authorities said.

The sweet evidence of her crime was visible on her husband's head and shirt when officers responded to the home in the Brighton Park neighborhood on the Southwest Side, according to a police report.

On Sunday morning, Cook County Circuit Judge Adam D. Bourgeois Jr. ordered electronic monitoring for the woman and a $10,000 bond. She is charged with a misdemeanor count of domestic battery.

Ah, Chicago! That toddlin' town!

The fight started with a verbal quarrel about 7:45 p.m. at the home in the 4700 block of South Western Avenue, according to a police report, but escalated until the woman started hitting her husband over the head.

After that, she reached for the box of desserts and directed a fusillade of snack cakes at his head and body, her husband told police. Several of the confections apparently hit their mark, as the man's head and shirt were smudged with icing when officers arrived, according to a police report.

The cops arrested her. It was the yeast they could do! The icing on the cake was that her husband had been arrested for battery or domestic battery three times since 2003.

Maybe he was just getting his just desserts?

H/T Mrs. C

Small Plane Crashes Into Ferris Wheel

...at a fair in Australia



Thankfully, neither the two occupants of the plane or anyone on the ride was hurt.

Evidently, too much "tilt" and not enough "whirl"!

Rookie Mistake

Ever see the Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen movie The Rookie? The scene where Clint Eastwood jumps a car from one parking garage to another? This wasn't quite that dramatic...






Cross posted at Reaganite Republican, Lady Cincinnatus

Stripper Lawyer Raises the Bar

When lawyers pass the bar, is it supposed to be vertical?



Charles Dickens once wrote: "The law is an ass." Very prescient.

A lawyer has told how she turned to stripping to pay bills after struggling to find a legal job in recession-weary America. The attorney, giving her name only as Carla, graduated from law school ten years ago. But after being made redundant in 2009, she had to take drastic action to avoid drowning in a sea of student loans and other debts.

Next time you hear of someone who lost the shirt off their back in the Obama recession, think of poor Carla! Did you hear the one about the lawyer who lost her suit?

H/T Memeorandum

"Gumby" in the "Pokey"?

Did you hear about Gumby trying to stick up a 7-11 recently?



It turns out now, that "Gumby" has turned himself in.

SAN DIEGO -- A man who attempted to rob a Rancho Penasquitos convenience store while dressed in a "Gumby" costume last week turned himself in to police Tuesday, authorities said.

The would-be thief disguised as the famed green claymation character entered the 7-Eleven in the 9700 block of Carmel Mountain Road along with an accomplice in street clothes shortly after midnight on Sept. 5, SDPD Detective Gary Hassen said.

A surveillance camera captured the entire odd episode on video, providing fairly clear images of the disguised man's outfit and the appearance of his friend. No weapon was seen during the alleged holdup attempt, and no money was taken.

The clerk at the 7-Eleven didn’t take the pair seriously when they said they were robbing the store, according to Hassen. The would-be bandit fumbled with his outfit as if to pull a gun from a pocket, but only managed to drop 26 cents in change, which he left on the floor.

You know you're not cut out for a life of crime when you try to stick up a convenience store and you leave twenty six cents poorer than when you went in! Time to consider a career change!

Guess old Gumby's in the pokey now!

Crime Doesn't Pay: California Edition

Some days it's hard to make a dishonest buck!

San Jose police say a truck illegally carrying marijuana crashed and ended up on its side near Oakridge Mall early Wednesday, sending large bags of pot throughout the intersection as the frightened driver ran away. Several motorists and pedestrians who happened to be passing through the area ran out and grabbed most of the marijuana bags and took off before police arrived.

Okay. You lost your truck and you lost your payload of illegal drugs. What could possibly be worse?

Officers eventually collected the remaining bags of weed left at the scene and also found a loaded handgun inside the white truck. They're still looking for the driver and all the people who snatched up the loose bags of pot and don't have any suspect descriptions.

Oh. You lost your truck, your pot AND your gun? Bummer, dude! You'd better hope that's not your name on the registration, or that's not all you'll lose!

It's unclear how the truck crashed at Blossom Hill Road and Playa Del Rey in South San Jose at 12:50 a.m. But there were no other vehicles involved in the crash, which ended with the truck landing on its side in the middle of the intersection.

Driver sampling his own merchandise, perhaps? H/T Memeorandum

The Secret of the Runaway Bride

Eighteen year old Valeriya Shevchenko, was resplendent in her wedding finery at the City Clerk's Office in New York City on Tuesday. She was waiting for her fiance to arrive, when the earthquake hit. She ran through the park with her cellphone, trying to find him. They met up at a subway station nearby and returned to the City Clerk's office to be married.

One small problem: They were trying to keep their marriage a secret, because their families disapproved. As Fate would have it, the young lady fleeing in her wedding dress was just too good of a shot for an enterprising photographer to pass up.

I can just imagine their wedding vows: "Baby, when I look at you, I can feel the earth move!"

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Diver's Body Recovered - 17 Years After His Death

A little break from all politics most of the time. This was just bizarre enough to warrant a little more investigation. Last month, the body of a diver was recovered in a deep and very cold area of Lake Tahoe.

The body of Donald Christopher Widecker, 44, was pulled from Lake Tahoe on July 27, four days after a group of divers stumbled across it while exploring a granite cliff 270 feet below the surface. Widecker sank into the frigid lake on California's border with Nevada on July 10, 1994 after apparently suffering a medical or equipment problem. He had not been seen since. Tahoe is the second-deepest lake in the United States, reaching depths of 1,645 feet.

Sounds a little like an episode of CSI. In fact, I wouldn't be too surprised if a fictionalized account of this happening showed up on one of the forensic shows before long.

Authorities were able to locate the ledge using a remote-controlled mini-submarine and recovered Widecker's body, which has undergone an autopsy to determine what caused his death nearly two decades ago.

"Here we have a diver in 270 feet of water that stays at 36 to 38 degrees constantly, doesn't change much," Byers said. "Because he had wetsuit on he was protected from the elements and was just remarkably preserved. From a pathological standpoint it's pretty incredible," he said. "Literally, it's a little spooky."

Four more divers are missing, presumably in the same area. Just beyond the ledge where Widecker was found, the lake plunges to its full 1465 feet deep.

Cross posted at LCR,Say Anything.